August 1978
Charles Band Productions
Porn, Musical, Comedy, Fantasy
DVD
B
It's a sad day when a very low-budget soft-core porno has better music than a movie written by the Sherman brothers, but such is the case here. Not only do you have Martha Reeves (yes, that Martha Reeves) singing the disco-licious "You'll Feel the Magic in Me," but the songs by the various fairy tale/ nursery rhyme characters range from cute to hilarious, with the unquestionable winner being Bo Peep's lament about life as a shepherdess: "Welllll, it's not as I planned/ But throughout Fairyland/ I'm known as Little Bo Peep/ And alack or alas/ I am up to my ass/ In smelly old sheep/ And when first I found out/ What my job was about/ And what I really am/ I just didn't suspect/ How much dough I'd collect/ From the guy on the lam(b)...." Angela Aames sings it with great gusto, and the deliberately phony tap-dancing further sells it.
The plot, such as it is, involves Prince Don Sparks (not particularly handsome, as he looks like he had a bad case of acne when younger, but likable enough) having to get an erection/have an orgasm/lose his virginity/sire an heir or lose his kingdom. (It's not exactly clear.) But only the mysterious and missing Princess Beauty makes him horny. Still, he visits Fairyland on the advice of his advisors, including Prof. Irwin Corey (as incoherent as ever, but much smuttier). Nai Bonet plays a role similar to that of the belly-dancer in John Goldfarb. Angelo Rossito, who plays the midget Otto, was in The Perils of Pauline and Pufnstuf. Robert Staats has probably the best lines (including a bit about aluminum siding), in the role of doorman Tommy Tucker at the "Old Lady's Shoe of Pleasure."
There's also a jive-talking black pimp, Snow White and her Dwarves, Andrews-Sisters-like dominatrices, a Frog Prince (played by the lyricist), and so on. The movie loses some energy around the time the Italian vice inspector shows up (ironic since he was one of the screenwriters), but there is of course a happy ending. The whole thing is only 76 minutes and is worth a look for the humor and music, although it's only sexy in comparison to The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio. As for succeeding as a fantasy, well, other than a cauldron and an off-camera transformation, the budget really limits that genre.
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