Sabrina

Sabrina
October 1954
Paramount
Romance
VHS
B-

It took me awhile to sort out how I felt about this movie on my second viewing.  (My first was just a few months ago, when I bought the tape for a dollar.)  I think the problem is that while it's clearly in the romance genre-- it has moments of comedy and drama but it is primarily about who Sabrina will end up with and how-- the title question of the recurring song "Isn't It Romantic?" turns out to not be rhetorical.  To begin with, the three leads are all miscast to one degree or another, and the script (cowritten by director Wilder but based on an apparently very different stageplay) undermines them at every turn.

I know, you're going to say, "What, Audrey Hepburn miscast as the awkward girl turned glamour queen?"  The thing is, she's not actually much more glamorous after two years in Paris than she is before she leaves.*   She has a better wardrobe, a fluency in French, and a poodle.  There's a moment when she shows up at a party and the male guests have exaggerated jaw-dropped reactions that wouldn't look out of place in The Girl Can't Help It.  (No milk bottles overflow though.)  Now, I know tastes change, especially after sixty years, but the truth is to my modern eyes, Hepburn is a pretty girl yet one with fairy-like looks that would not be ogled at a distance of several yards.  Beyond that, there's an unpleasant undertone to her character, as if she's a less honest (including to herself) version of Monroe's gold-digger in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.  She pines for (almost stalks) David Larrabee for years, including when he's engaged (and possibly married, see below).  She almost commits suicide over him.  And then there's an implication that she becomes an elderly baron's mistress while in France.  True, she refuses bribes to give David up, but there's no question that part of her infatuation is with the Larrabee lifestyle.  Although I haven't seen a lot of Hepburn movies (I think this is the only one I own), usually (except in Breakfast at Tiffany's) her character doesn't have such an innocent surface with so much rot underneath.

Hepburn was 25 playing a girl of 20 and then 22, so at least she was well-cast by her age.  But then we have 36-year-old William Holden as David.  He was not too old for Hepburn, as they fell in love while making this picture.  His character, on the other hand, is presumably not past his mid-20s, as David kissed Sabrina when she was 9 and it would be creepy if he were then more than 11 or 12.  Yet he's somehow had the time by 1954 (his parents have been married 48 years, since 1906, so the movie is mostly set in the then-present) to attend several colleges and get married and divorced three times.  In fact, his second wife wore an Adlai Stevenson button to the wedding, so that must've been in 1952, when Sabrina was in or on her way to Paris, although no mention is made of this.  His third marriage would definitely have been while she was away, yet the household servants (including Nancy Culp, the future Miss Hathaway of The Beverly Hillbillies) keep shipping Sabrina/David.  See what I mean about an unpleasant undertone?  Also, he's a lazy playboy, and he's got the baggage of the unscrupulousness of Holden's characters in Sunset Blvd. and to a lesser degree The Moon Is Blue.

Then there is of course the colossal miscasting of Humphrey Bogart, as Bogie would be the first to agree.  He was 54 and had always looked old for his age, plus he was a few years away from dying of cancer.  In a different way than in The Band Wagon, I don't buy the older-man/younger-woman romance, because Hepburn is not the right sort of younger woman for Bogart.  (Lauren Bacall had a surface toughness and an underlying romantic side, which is sort of the inverse of Hepburn's steel pixie.)  His character of Linus Larrabee is at least old enough to have gone to college in the '20s (he has a phonograph with "Yes, We Have No Bananas," which was a hit in 1923), but there's never any explanation of why there's such a big age gap between him and his brother David.  (In the family painting, they look like they were children at the same time, with no more than maybe a five years' difference.)  Also, Bogart has his own screen baggage, as a tough guy, and while I could buy him as a self-made businessman, I can't believe him as a rich man's son.  (IMDB says Bogart's father was "moderately wealthy," but that's not his film persona.)  In great contrast to Holden and Hepburn, he and Hepburn don't have chemistry together.  The only reason why we're meant to root for him is because he's hard-working and wants to bring capitalism to developing countries so that they can have straight teeth and movies on Saturdays.

Say what?  This is where I remind you of who the writer-director is: Billy Wilder, a deeply cynical man, who not only gave us an obsessive romance in Sunset Blvd., but in Some Like It Hot would include a marriage-merger, like the one Linus is trying to orchestrate for David, until the chauffeur's daughter throws a monkey wrench into the business.  In Some Like, a made-up merger is Joe's excuse to get out of his lying affair with Sugar, and it's the antithesis of romance.  Here, Linus has a plan for David to marry the lovely Martha Hyer (not as sensible as in Abbott and Costello Go to Mars but again playing a girl whose engagement is threatened through no fault of her own).  This marriage will help Larrabee Industries (or one of their subsidiaries) produce a miracle plastic.  (And somewhere Mr. McGuire of The Graduate is taking notes.)  Hyer's character seems a bit shallow, but so is David, and it's not like he couldn't just divorce her quickly like usual.  (After all the paperwork is finalized of course.)  He does marry her in the end and Linus goes off to Paris with Sabrina, after trying to trick her into going there with David but then revealing his scheme because he's fallen in love with her himself.  This isn't Casablanca and the problems of three little people-- played by three big stars-- apparently do amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.

Or do they?  I'll note that the other recurring song in the movie is "La Vie en Rose," which Sabrina explains means looking at life through rose-colored glasses.  But the main glasses in the movie are the champagne glasses David sits on, getting a literal pain in the ass.  He wants to write a love poem to Sabrina and asks Linus what rhymes with "glass."  Linus suggests "alas."

"Surprise!  There is no movie called Duck Soup!"-- Joe Adamson, Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Sometimes Zeppo (1973)

Billy Wilder has taken many disparate elements, some of which he couldn't have planned on, and subversively made them into one of the most unromantic romances ever.  For that alone, and because he's given me so much to think about, I'm giving the movie a B-.

Walter Hampden, who plays Oliver Larrabee, was the Aged Actor in All About Eve.  I couldn't spot Gregory Ratoff this time.  (Or Marion Ross for that matter!)  But, yes, that's Ma and Pa's Billy Reed, Emory Parnell, as Charles the Butler.  Sam Harris was in Citizen Kane and at least one other of my movies.  Ellen Corby, who's Miss McCardle here, was Miss Davis in It's a Wonderful Life.  (But she's best known as Grandma Walton.)  Marcel Dalio, who at 54 plays the 74-year-old Baron, was the magistrate in Gentlemen Prefer.

Chuck Hamilton was in Ma and Pa Kettle on Vacation and would be in There's No Business Like Show Business, which would also feature Ralph Brooks, again as a party guest.  John Williams, who's actually quite good (and well cast) as Sabrina's father, would go on to Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?  (I'm numbering him, to distinguish him from the composer and any other John Williamses we run into.)  Rand Harper would be in Auntie Mame.  Marjorie Bennett, who plays the cook and was the corset saleslady in MaPK at Home, would appear in Mary Poppins.  Francis X. Bushman, who portrays Mr. Tyson, was a silent-film star, so it's surprising he didn't appear in Sunset Blvd., but I do have his very last film appearance, in The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini of all things.


*We see much less of Paris than we did in Ma and Pa on Vacation or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, just the Eiffel Tower out a window.  Bogart's character says that Paris is for lovers and that's why he stayed only 35 minutes.  Consider this a hint.

"Bogie, hold her like you've just met and wish you hadn't."

Ma and Pa Kettle at Home

Ma and Pa Kettle at Home
March 10, 1954
Universal
Comedy
VHS
C+

In this entry, the previously never mentioned second (?) Kettle son, Elwin, has just finished high school and hopes to win a college scholarship that The National Magazine is sponsoring.  So he's written an essay lying about the family's rundown farm, but the magazine sends out two judges to investigate the farm and that of his local rival/girlfriend Sally Mattocks.  Why a New-York-based magazine would do this is beyond me, but it's just one of the oddities of a script that includes Pa convincing his Indian friends and their tribe to pretend to go on the warpath so Pa can look like a hero.  There's also Ma sort of matchmaking the local spinster librarian (Mary Wickes) with the older judge, the obviously symbolic courtship of the Mattocks's cow by the Kettles' bull (who wears a bowler), and what's meant to be a heartwarming Christmas that just comes across as awkward.

Apparently Ma and Pa Kettle at Waikiki was filmed before this, and it's possible this was meant to be the last entry.  In any case, all the Kettle kids have been replaced by the following:

• Patrick Miller, then 33 (!), as Teddy
• Brett Halsey, then 20, as Elwin
• Carol Nugent, then 16, as Nancy
• Tony Epper, then 15, as Donny
• Judy Nugent (Carol's sister?), then 13, as the otherwise unheard of Betty
• Whitey Haupt, then 13, as Henry
• Gary Pagett, then 13, as George
• Patricia Morrow, then 10, as Susie, although she'd be two non-Kettles in the last two entries in the series
• Richard Eyer, then 8, as Billy (the one who likes frogs and wears a propeller beanie)
• Nancy Zane, then 7, as Sarah
• Coral Hammond, age unknown, as Eve
• Donald MacDonald, age unknown, as Benjamin
• Donna Cregan Moots, age unknown, as Ruthie

There's no mention of Tom, but Rosie is working in Seattle over Christmas.  This again gives us a total of fifteen kids.

James Flavin played a policeman in Abbott and Costello Go to Mars as well.  Helen Gibson was in MaPK at the Fair.  Ken Terrell and Hank Worden were in MaPK on Vacation, but I think they were playing French rather than Indian then.  Alice Kelley, who's Sally here, was a stewardess in that movie.  Marjorie Bennett, who portrays the corset saleslady, would appear in Mary Poppins.

Ma and Pa Kettle at the Fair

Ma and Pa Kettle at the Fair
July 11, 1952
Universal
Comedy
VHS
B-

As I mentioned earlier, I'm missing MaPK Go to Town (1950) and MaPK Back on the Farm ('51).  So I can't say exactly when the shift came away from the character comedy of the first and zeroeth entries to the cornier humor of this fourth movie in the series.  Whether it's a long-legged scarecrow fleeing for his life, or Geoduck and Crowbar making jokes about Cleveland Indians and Washington Redskins, I have no trouble believing that director Charles Barton mostly found his niche in TV sitcoms.  (Amos 'n Andy, McHale's Navy, Petticoat Junction, Family Affair, etc.)  But I did chuckle a few times, and if you can get past the Native American stereotypes, it's pleasant, innocuous comedy.  In this entry, oldest daughter Rosie (who's dating James Best, later of Dukes of Hazzard) wants to go to college, so her parents hope to win some prize money.  The script manages to rip off both A Day at the Races and The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, but you probably aren't expecting much originality anyway.

Other than Rosie, the Kettle kids don't do much in this entry, but here's a round-up (and no, I don't know if all the Jackson kids are related):

1. Tom (not mentioned, but by this point in the series I think he was not only a husband but a father)
2. Rosie is now played by blonde Lori Nelson (then 18), rather than brunette Gloria Moore.
3. Eugene Persson, then 18, who was an unnamed Kettle child in The Egg and I and Ted Kettle in Ma and Pa Kettle (then for some reason Willie Kettle in MaPK Go to Town), is Teddy here, his last appearance in the series.  
4. Donna Leary, then 16, returns as Sally.
5. Elana Schreiner, then 15, returns as Nancy.
6. Teddy Infuhr, then 15, returns as Benjamin.
7. Ronnie Rondell, Jr., also 15, becomes Dannie.  
8. Billy Gray, then 14, is a nameless Kettle child, but would play the only son on Father Knows Best.
9. Beverly Mook, then 11, is back as Eve.
10. George Arglen, then 11, skipped the previous two in the series but is back as Willie.
11. Sherry Jackson, then 10, became Susie in MaPK Go to Town
12. Jackie Jackson (age unknown) became Henry in the same movie, taking over the role from George McDonald.
13. Margaret Brown (age unknown) is back as Ruthie.
14. Gary Lee Jackson (age unknown) takes over the role of Billy from two earlier actors.
15. Billy Clark (age unknown) takes over as George from his predecessor.
16. Jenny Linder (age unknown) first appears as Sara here.

Yes, that comes to sixteen kids, rather than the fifteen in earlier entries, but even Ma and Pa are never sure of the exact number, or names, of their brood.  At one point in the movie, they say they've been married 24 years, but later it's 30.  And Ma is supposed to be 52, meaning she must've had at least one change-of-life baby.  (Main was 62, but as energetic as ever.)                                                                                                                                      Nolan Leary was in Ma and Pa Kettle.  Esther Dale returns as frenemy Birdie Hicks, although she has a different mother this time.  Emory Parnell is back as Billy Reed.  Oliver Blake claims the role of Indian Geoduck (played by two other actors previously), which he'll keep almost to the end.  Brick Sullivan was in It's a Wonderful Life and Singin' in the Rain.  Kenner G. Kemp was also in Singin' in the Rain.  James Conaty was in All About Eve.                                                                                                                     This time, Frank O'Connor is a jam judge.  Rex Lease returns as the sheriff and would be in Abbott & Costello Go to Mars, which would also feature Juanita Close, Harold DeGarro, Frank Marlowe, and Syd Saylor.  Helen Gibson would appear in MaPK at Home, Bob Donnelly in MaPK at Waikiki.

Ma and Pa Kettle

Ma and Pa Kettle
April 1, 1949
Universal
Comedy
VHS
B-

While I won't say this is a rollicking comedy, it has a certain charm, partly from its focus on the Kettles (who stole The Egg and I), partly from oldest boy Tom's romance, and partly from the culture clash of the family with post-war prosperity.  Of course, Pa is lazy, but he does happen to win a contest, with first prize a pre-fab house chockful of modern gadgets.  (He just wanted the free tobacco pouch for entering.)  So, he, Ma, and the fifteen kids, including Tom (just home from college), move from the farm to the new place.  Ma cooks a roast pig in the new oven, which is only supposed to take two or three minutes!  Pa has to deal with remote-controlled radio and TV, as well as sun-lamps in the bathroom.  Meanwhile, Tom has met a pretty but opinionated reporter named Kim.  They have chemistry together, and I like that she has a career.  (I think she gives it up in the sequels though.)

I used to have all the Kettle movies, but it looks like I'm missing the next two and the last two.  (Kilbride would drop out due to poor health, and the last two have "Kettles" in the titles rather than "Ma and Pa Kettle.")  This first entry establishes the formula of course, so that the theme tune (taken from The Egg and I), the opening credits, and some other elements would stay the same through much of the series.  Charles Lamont would direct about half of the sequels.

We actually get a role call of the kids, so thanks to IMDB, here's a list:

1. Tom
2. oldest girl Rosie (played by Gloria Moore, who'd appear in Singin' in the Rain as a chorus girl)
3. Ted (15-year-old Eugene Persson)
4. Danny (14-year-old Dale Belding, who'd be in a couple of the entries I'm missing)
5. Sara (13-year-old Diane Florentine, who was nameless in The Egg and I)
6. Benjamin (12-year-old Teddy Infuhr)
7. Nancy (12-year-old Elana Schreiner)
8. Sally (12-year-old Donna Leary)
9. Billy (played by a 9-year-old)
10. Eve (8-year-old Beverly Mook)
11. Susie (8-year-old Melinda Plowman, who'd go on to Cary Grant's Monkey Business)
12. Willie (8-year-old George Arlen)
13. Ruthie (Margaret Brown, age unknown but she did appear on the Dobie Gillis show in '61)
14. Henry (George McDonald, age unknown, who was in The Egg)
15. George (played by a child whose age in unknown but he would be MaPK Go to Town).

(Oddly enough, Ma and Pa have been together thirty years, but most of their kids seem to be under seventeen.  Maybe that includes the years of courtin'.)

Emory Parnell, who was Mr. Tuerck in Miracle of Morgan's Creek, is almost unrecognizable as Billy Reed.  Esther Dale and Isabel O'Madigan are back as Birdie Hicks and her mother, with Birdie still holding a grudge against Ma for winning the quilt contest in The Egg.  (Ma used the prize money to send Tom to college, so four years apparently have passed.)  Rex Lease would continue to play the sheriff in later entries.  Nolan Leary, who plays the minister here, gets demoted to church usher in Ma and Pa Kettle at the Fair.  Harry Chesire would also be in Fair.