Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
March 15, 1989
Beyond Infinity/ Gaucamolle [sic] Pictures/ Phantom Productions
Comedy, Action
VHS
B-

This deliberately bad movie is somewhat in the tradition of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, with an even longer, more ridiculous title.  (I believe it's the longest title in my movie collection since 1968's Did You Hear the One About the Traveling Saleslady?)  Not only does it offer Adrienne Barbeau and Shannon Tweed as rival feminists, battling for the fate of the title characters, but it has men named Ford Maddox, Dean Stockwell (head of the university), and Col. Mattel.  And the main comic relief/ love interest is played by Bill Maher, yes, that Bill Maher (then 33).  And speaking of political incorrectness, much of the humor derives from mocking academia and feminism, but also their opposites.  And for a native Southern Californian like myself, there are extra chuckles, as when the heroine Dr. Margo Hunt (Tweed) and her sidekick Bunny venture into San Bernardino.  (Much of the film was shot on the UC Riverside campus.)

Still, I don't think this reaches the heights of AotKT, which had a wider range of targets, including of course pop music.  And when Maher's character gets a tribe of wimpy Donnahews [sic] drunk in order to bring out their machismo, this leads to a (not at all explicit) gang rape attempt of Bunny.  Hunt comes to the rescue immediately, but it's still one of the more offensive moments, although admittedly the cannibalism jokes are more tasteless.  (Yes, pun definitely intended.)

Watching the movie this time round, two things most struck me as being, if not dated per se, at least different from a roughly quarter-century's hindsight: that Bunny's worry that her fantasy (of being tied up with Red Vine licorice and spanked) may be non-feminist seems quaint in an era where "kinky feminism" is recognized; and that among the hats that the Donnahews wear is at least one fedora, the supposed favorite chapeau of men's rights activists.

A thrilling adventure!

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
February 17, 1989
Orion
Comedy, Sci-Fi, Historical
VHS
C+

Every time I start to watch this movie (and I've seen it a few times since the original theatrical release, when I was 21 and living in Southern California), I wonder why I never got around to watching the Bogus sequel.  There's that awesome Big Pig song "I Can't Break Away" playing over the then-cutting-edge visuals as the opening credits play.  And there's the Bill & Ted bromance.  (With a typically '80s touch of them cheerfully calling each other "fag" after they hug in relief.)  And there's George Carlin as the coolest big-screen Rufus since Groucho's Mr. Firefly.

But then there's that darn time-travel plot.  Nothing against time travel of course, but so little is done with it.  We're meant to find it automatically funny when two modern dudes travel into the past, which it sort of is.  But we're also meant to find it automatically funny when the historical figures enter modern (1988) San Dimas, CA (actually Arizona).  And it just isn't.  Part of the problem is that the writers (and of course Bill & Ted) seem to have only a superficial knowledge of who these figures are, so we get a Beethoven who can hear well enough to appreciate a synthesizer, and a Socrates who hits on girls at the mall.  And a Napoleon who loves water slides and sundaes?

At this point, the movie is most notable for truly putting Keanu Reeves on the map, and for paving the way for Wayne and Garth and so on.  Note, Stephen Herek would also direct Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, about a very different Bush-Sr.-era teen.

Hal Landon, Jr., who plays Bill's father, was Cornfield in Scavenger Hunt.  Amy Stock was the nameless Girl in Bed in Soul Man, but she had since gotten married (becoming Amy Stock-Poynton) and worked her way up to the more memorable role of Bill's sexy young stepmother.  Philip V. Caruso (who seems to be primarily a still photographer) plays Dance Photographer here and would be War Commercial Photographer in Wag the Dog.

Imagine: John Lennon

Imagine: John Lennon
October 7, 1988
Warner Bros.
Documentary, Musical
VHS
B

This biography, released close to what would've been Lennon's 48th birthday, and less than eight years after his murder, is not perfect.  It doesn't represent all of the important pieces of Lennon's life.  (There's no mention, for instance, of his dear friend Stu Sutcliffe.)  And while it's nice to get interviews with both of John's wives and both his sons, I wish that there had been contemporary interviews with his ex-bandmates.  (I mean, Ringo got along with everyone.  You'd think he at least would be here.)  That said, the movie does work as sort of a mosaic of sights and sounds of John Lennon's life.  You'll get more information from the various books on John Lennon (I reviewed a few on my reading blog), but you won't get the impact of his unique voice, by which I mean not just how he sang but what he had to say.

Beatles assistant/friend Mal Evans had small roles in A Hard Day's Night and Help!  Klaus Voormann was last seen in my movie collection as Von Schitzel in Popeye.  And Dick Cavett appeared in Annie Hall.

Hot to Trot

Believe me, there are worse comedy teams.

Hot to Trot
August 26, 1988
Warner Bros.
Comedy, Fantasy
VHS
B-

This goofy take on Mr. Ed and Francis the Talking Mule (with a stock brokerage, because it's the '80s) provided the first starring role for the sometimes irritating and sometimes endearing Bobcat Goldthwait, then 26.  The voice of the horse is provided by John Candy, who of course has some of the best lines and sounds like he might be ad-libbing some of them.  There are moments of great silly comedy, although by the time Bobcat has become the most implausible big-screen jockey since Harpo Marx, things are wearing a bit thin, and there are a few too many ethnic and other stereotypes (especially Hispanic).  If nothing else, you'll have fun with the cast, including Dabney Coleman as the villain (yeah, big surprise) and 80-year-old Burgess Meredith as Candy's equine father.  Buck Henry plays Goldthwait's father in a flashback.

Peter Hobbs, who plays the veterinarian, was Dr. Dean in Sleeper and the Doctor at St. Ambrose Hospital in 9 to 5 (yes, this is a reunion for him and Coleman).  Jocko Marcellino of Sha-Na-Na appears as Marvin.  Donald Hotton, the minister here, was Mr. Wicher in Soul Man.  Barbara Whinnery, who played Sister Sara in Hamburger, is Denise here.

James Hong who's "Boss" here, would be Frank, Sr. in Too Much Sun.  Kevin Furlong would play a jockey again in Wag the Dog.

There's also a fairly early role, as a dentist, for 33-year-old Gilbert Gottfried.  (He'd start hosting USA Up All Night on cable the next year.)  And 35-year-old Mary Gross (post-SNL) appears briefly as Ms. French.

Note, this movie has an incredible amount of profanity for a PG-rated movie.

The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking

Annika's not even whiny!  And, no, that's not a plus.

The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking
July 29, 1988
Columbia
Children's, Comedy, Musical, Fantasy
VHS
C-

Maybe it's generational bias, but I just can't get into this late '80s take compared to the badly dubbed but endearing European imports of my childhood.  The thing is, although this claims to be "new," there are a lot more adventures recycled from the Inger Nilsson series than from the books.  I'm pretty sure the cows eating Tommy and Annika's clothing only happens in Pippi on the Run, not to mention the appearance of that movie's "glue man" character, here played by Dick Van Patten.  What is new in this version includes things of dubious value: lots of songs, or rather a handful of songs repeated ad nauseam; a setting that's vaguely Florida in the Truman era; and Pippi facing setbacks that make me think Irving Thalberg came back from the dead and advised Ken Annakin.  The Pirate Movie director wrote and directed this, and we can see such PM touches as beefcake (Hello, Fridolf!), talking animals (one voiced by Frank Welker), an ice-cream salesman, and of course pirates.

The Thalbergization is seen in the way the title character (played by relatively over-the-hill but eager thirteen-year-old Tami Erin) is handled.  Yes, she still has strength, spunk, and magic powers, but she twice shows fear, something the book's Pippi (and of course Nilsson's) never did.  Worse than that, while the Pippi of twenty years ago successfully fended off the threats of robbers and a children's home, this Pippi ends up in an orphanage (run by Eileen Brennan, who can't decide if she's auditioning for Annie or playing a well-meaning overworked social worker).  There's an interwoven thread about evil real-estate developers (hey, things had changed in Florida in the 60 years since Cocoanuts) wanting Pippi's house.  Oh, and this was what really sunk the movie for me: even though Pippi has her traditional interest in art, she never brightens up Villa Villekulla when she gets out her painting supplies, and it remains drab and gray.

All that said, I don't hate this movie.  It's harmless enough, especially for kids under the age of maybe 9.

The Invisible Kid

The Invisible Kid
March 30, 1988
Elysian Pictures
Comedy, Sci-Fi
VHS
C

Although this has its share of quirkiness-- Why do they use a picture of Rene Auberjonois for the title character's father? Why does the high school have five mascot costumes?  What's up with the television advice call-in show?-- it also has a lot of predictable moments.  If you know that it's about a teenager who's pursuing the invention of invisibility, and furthermore that this is an '80s comedy, then you know his best friend is going to want to sneak into the girls' locker room.  If there's a chase scene with police cars near the end, then you know they're going to hit a fruit stand and a chicken truck.  If the principal comes across as an insensitive jerk, then you're not going to be surprised that he's a liar, thief, gambler, etc.  And if Chynna Phillips (then 20) is the girl next door, then she's going to have to be dating the star basketball player but end up with the title character.  But you might not predict that Karen Black (as cross-eyed as ever), as the title character's mom, will end up with a love interest.  The movie is mostly innocuous (except when the best friend is spying on and feeling up girls), but it's never quite funny or very entertaining.  I guess watch it if you're into this sub-genre.

Ellen Crawford, who's a teacher here, was a Tiffany saleswoman in Who's That Girl.  

Hairspray

Hairspray
February 26, 1988
New Line Cinema
Comedy, Musical, Historical
VHS
B+

This remains a lot of fun, so much fun that I've resisted seeing the musical remake, onstage or screen.  Although this may not be a musical per se, the music is an integral part of the story, and there are some wonderful oldies and oddities.  The dancing is a joy to watch, especially when Rikki Lake (as heroine Tracy Turnblad) struts her stuff.  The dialogue, particularly anything Divine says, is endlessly quotable.  The movie is well cast, nowhere more so in the stunt casting.  (Divine is married to Jerry Stiller here, while other couples include Deborah Harry & Sonny Bono and Pia Zadora & Ric Ocasek.)  I also enjoy Leslie Ann Powers as Tracy's loyal best friend Penny and Michael St. Gerard as her sexy but sensitive boyfriend Link.

John Waters, in his first PG movie, manages to send up a lot of genres at once, while at the same time paying loving tribute to his hometown of Baltimore, and making some half-serious points about society.  The pacing and energy do fall off in the last half hour.  I understand the inclusion of the governor, but this part of the story seems to have needed editing and tightening, as does much else around then.  Still, there's so much to enjoy overall that the movie is easily in my Top Five for the '80s.

Note: one of my later movie crushes, Josh Charles (then 16) makes his debut here, as Iggy.