The First Wives Club

The First Wives Club
September 20, 1996
Paramount
Comedy
VHS
C+

I really liked this movie at the time, as did many others, including Katha Pollitt, but that doesn't mean we were blind to its faults, faults that are more obvious a couple decades later.  As directed by WKRP's Hugh Wilson, it is very much a cinematic sitcom, with easy resolutions and cardboard characterizations.  Although it's based on a book (which I've never read), the most serious flaws have to do with the writing, many of the implausibilities and inconsistencies centering around Brenda (Bette Midler).  To begin with, is she Italian or Jewish?  If both, why isn't this established earlier?  And how is ir that her husband (Dan Hedaya, for a change in my movies actually typecast) fails to recognize her boss, even the name?  Also, the whole timeline is screwy, from Yellow Submarine coming out in '69 (rather than '68), to the central trio of first wives (Midler, Goldie Hawn, and Diane Keaton) all about 45, although this seems to be contemporary and they've been out of college for about 27 years.  I'm not even clear how much time is passing in the main story, although there's a vague time pressure (even vaguer than in Don't Tell Mom).  Maybe this is all clearer in the book.

The movie is of course notable for its presentation of the exes, particularly the ex of their suicidal friend Cynthia, as being shallow, insensitive, and ruled by their lust for younger women.  (Sarah Jessica Parker is playing against type as a dumb and tasteless blonde.)  But the wives don't come across as much better and, as in The Women almost 60 years earlier, it's unclear why they regret the loss of such awful men.  Yes, I like seeing the cast, and the theme of female friendship and empowerment is good, but it's often lost in slapstick and stereotyping.  And this isn't 9 to 5, where the stock characters are given believability.  There are nice little moments (like how accepting Keaton is of her lesbian daughter), and even occasional insights about how aging women are viewed, and Maggie Smith proves she can do a lot even with a tiny role, but it just doesn't add up to much.

I don't have any other movies with James Naughton but it's a nice touch to make him Cynthia's cheating ex-husband, since he was Angela Bower's ex on Who's the Boss?  (Cynthia is played by Stockard Channing.)  Victor Garber, who plays Goldie's ex, would be Professor Callahan in Legally Blonde.

Anne Shropshire, who's an A Certain Age cast member, was Mrs. Crawley in Tootsie.  Peter Frechette, who plays the Broadway Director, had his big-screen debut as none other than Louis DiMucci in Grease 2.  (He found a lot of other work in between of course.)  Aida Linares also played a maid in Clueless.

Marla Sucharetza, who's Exercising Woman, would be School Reporter in In & Out, while Debra Monk is Jilted Lover here and would be Mrs. Lester there, and  J. Smith-Cameron is Miss Sullivan here and would be Trina Paxton there.  Rob Reiner plays Hawn's plastic surgeon.  And, yes, that's 41-year-old J.K. Simmons in the small role of a Federal Marshall.

Grease

Grease
June 16, 1978
Paramount
Musical, Comedy, Historical, Romance, Fantasy
VHS
B-

This is both a beloved "classic" and an entry in the Medveds' lists of turkeys.  I've seen it countless times and I still don't quite know what I think of it.  Well, if you must know, I guess I think it's a movie with good to great songs ("Hopelessly Devoted" probably the best of the lot, although much more '70s than '50s) and mostly not very likable characters.  It's hard to care about the romance between John Travolta (age 24) as Danny and Olivia Newton-John (29) as Sandy, when their personalities are such a poor fit, and the changes they make to prove to be worthy of each other seem pointless.  The secondary couple, Jeff Conaway (27) as Kenickie and Stockard Channing (34) as Rizzo, are much more interesting, she especially.  She's not exactly likable either, but she's got personality, has some of the best lines ("With relish" and the "defective typewriter" one in particular), and her "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" provides the only genuine emotion in the movie, raising this from a C+ to a B-.

As for the unlikability, the characters are often stupid and/or needlessly cruel, as when they mock nerdy Eddie Deezen.  They're not any nicer to their friends, including the way that Jan is called fat (while being asked out!), when she looks petite.  The characters in Grease 2 are no saints, but there's less mean-spiritedness in that film, so in some ways I like it better, although it's certainly worse written, directed, acted, sung, danced, etc.  (But then it's more clearly a so-bad-it's-good turkey.)

Still, yes, watch this film for the musical numbers, from the title track onward.  The songs will get stuck in your head, but you probably won't mind.  Chances are, you already know them.  (Well, maybe not the smuttier lines of "Greased Lightning," if you've seen an edited version of the movie.)

The mostly female school staff includes Eve Arden as Principal McGee, Dody Goodman as Arden's assistant Blanche, Fannie Flagg as Nurse Wilkins, and Alice Ghostley as the shop teacher Mrs. Murdock, but there's also Sid Caesar as Coach Calhoun.  Edd Byrnes plays lecherous National Bandstand host Vince Fontaine.  Joan Blondell is Vi the waitress.  Frankie Avalon is Frenchy's Teen Angel guardian.  Sha-Na-Na, almost a decade before/after Woodstock, is the band at the big dance.

I'm using the "Stigwood stalwarts" tag to cover the many dancers who perform not only here but also Sgt. Pepper and/or Grease 2:  Barbi Alison, Helena Adreyko, Jennifer Buchanan, Carol Culver, Cindy DeVore, Dennis Daniels, Larry Dusich, Deborah Fishman, John Robert Garrett, Sandra Gray, Mimi Lieber, Sean Moran, Bob Quinn, Greg Rosatti, Andy Roth, Lou Spadaccini, Judy Susman, Andy Tennant, and Richard Weisman.  Wendie Jo Sperber is also a dancer here.  (I think she's the girl in the pink dress and dark ponytails in the carnival scene at the end.)  Another dancer, Daniel Levans, would be assistant choreographer on Can't Stop the Music.

Also, Dennis Stewart, who plays Leo, would be a dancer in Sgt. Pepper, as well as Balmudo in Grease 2.  (He's the zit-faced leader of the rival gang.)  Dick Patterson, Mr. Rudie here, would be Mr. Spears in G2.  Didi Conn (26), as Frenchy (the one genuinely sweet character) would be the only one of the main "teenagers" to return for G2.  Scriptwriters Alan Carr and Bronte Woodard would co-write Can'tStM.  And choreographer Patricia Birch would direct G2. 

The "fantasy" tag is for the flying car at the end, and not for the surreal New York accents in sunny California.

The Big Bus

The Big Bus
June 23, 1976
Paramount
Comedy, Action
VHS
A-

This note-perfect parody of '70s disaster movies is not only in my opinion much more enjoyable than the more famous and successful Airplane (1980), but it's the most fun I've had with any of my movies since Some Like It Hot.  It's partly that I'm a '70s kid and I love the bright colors and tackiness of this Ford-era movie, especially on the title vehicle, including the Bicentennial dining room.  But it really is dead on, from its David Shire score (as overwrought as anything in the Airport movies, but with whimsical touches like a sample from "Home Sweet Home" when the "flags of all nations" are raised to slow down the bus), to the dialogue, with such quotable lines as Joseph Bologna defensively exclaiming "You eat one lousy foot-- they call you a cannibal!", and a pre-Benson Rene Auberjonois as a doubting priest taunting Ruth Gordon, "Where's your god now, old woman?"  I also love all the exchanges between a pre-Soap Richard Mulligan and a post-MASH Sally Kellerman as a soon to be divorced couple, as well as Richard B. Shull (around the time of Holmes and Yo-Yo) hitting all the cliches in his "I wanna live" speech when Lynn Redgrave seduces him in a tub.

It's a very big bus, with a swimming pool, a bowling alley, and a piano bar where Murphy Dunne (who wrote his own material) anticipates Bill Murray's lounge singer by a year or so.  The bus is nuclear-powered and on a non-stop trip from New York to Denver, although the scenery is very obviously Californian, from the street with the Thrifty's to the mountains.  And, yes, very '70s, with the sodas that poor Stockard Channing almost drowns in including Fanta and Fresca.

She's wonderful, the whole cast is wonderful!  I haven't even mentioned Larry Hagman as the doctor who insists that Harold Gould (wounded by a St. Christopher's medal) can't be moved, or Ned Beatty and Howard Hesseman as the bickering technicians, or Jose Ferrer and Stuart Margolin as villainous brothers (despite being born almost 30 years apart), or Vic Tayback in a tiny plum of a role as a bus driver who gets in a broken milk carton vs. broken candle bar fight.

I spent most of the time grinning, when I wasn't giggling.  This viewing, I was struck by the fact that it actually works on a story level.  I mean it's not just gags, there's actually a plot that's somewhat resolved.  (After a literal cliffhanger, the bus faces another disaster as the credits start rolling.)  And I don't think you have to have seen Earthquake, Towering Inferno, Poseidon Adventure, Airport, or Airport '75 (they still hadn't released '77 or Concorde at that point) to enjoy it, although it probably helps if you're a movie buff and can appreciate all the tropes.  Even on this viewing, I found new things to appreciate, like the Edith Head glasses on Redgrave's designer character.  Judging from the IMDB reviews and comments, as well as other online reviews, this movie doesn't do it for everyone, but I think if you like it, you'll like it a lot.

This time Vito Scotti plays a barber.  Harry Holcolmbe, who plays the older priest, was Capt. Malone in Escape to Witch Mountain.  Of the unnamed bus passengers, a few would go on to other cult/obscure movies I own: Selma Archerd to Americathon and Can't Stop the Music, Nick Pellegrino to I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Cynthia Szigeti to both The Gong Show Movie and Johnny Dangerously, and Andrew Winner to Valley Girl.

And James Frawley would go on to direct The Muppet Movie.