Can't Stop the Music

Can't Stop the Music
June 20, 1980
EMI
Comedy, Musical, Romance
VHS
B

While this doesn't consistently hit the OMG heights/depths of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, it is a fine example of a so-bad-it's-delightful musical of the (in this case very late) disco era.  The two big moments, musically and visually, are the "YMCA" number that adds nudity to the subtext of the "Ain't There Anyone Here for Love" number of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and the wow! "Milkshake" number that supposedly is a commercial, but begins with Valerie Perrine playing mom to preteen versions of the Village People and then explodes into several minutes of silvery whiteness: white sets, white costumes, white everything!  It's also the catchiest number, and I'm right there with Valerie when she cries, "One more time!"

She's playing the recently retired supermodel of the '70s, but as she notes two or three times, these are the '80s and times are different now.  That the '80s, for Perrine, the Village People, and all of us, did not at all resemble this shiny, cartoony world is a sad loss, but that makes this movie all the more fun to revisit.  That the movie is teetering on the edge of the closet the whole time-- no mention of the G word or the H word or the Q word, but tons of hints-- adds a certain poignancy, considering how rough the '80s would be for gay men, with AIDS and the accompanying homophobia.  But CStM doesn't know that.  It can put Bruce Jenner in a crop-top and Daisy Dukes and just keep going.

He's a terrible actor.  Not that anyone is giving a great thespian performance here, but he is the bottom of the barrel.  There's a sort of triangle with him (at the age of 31) as an uptight but loosening tax lawyer romancing 36-year-old Perrine, who's platonic roomies with 21-year-old Steve Guttenberg, who clearly has a crush on her.  She's the muse for what's probably the weakest song on the soundtrack, "Samantha."  As Jack Morell, Guttenberg is a thinly disguised version of Jacques Morali.  You see, this is pretending to be a biography of the VP, although it has almost no bearing on reality, from the Guttenberg-roller-skating credits onward.

The movie was a flop, except oddly enough in Australia.  Alan Carr and Bronte Woodard had co-written the screenplay for Grease, but that was based on a successful stage play and didn't have lines like "Housework is like bad sex.  Every time I do it, I swear I never will again, until the next time company comes" and Perrine's recital of song titles as she makes a graceful exit from the office of her ex, played by Paul Sand.  Still, this has long been the more enjoyable movie of the two, and surprisingly amiable considering the mean-spiritedness of Grease.  I could go on and on about it but I know others have on the Internet and elsewhere.  And besides, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Marilyn Sokol plays the best friend of the heroine, as she did in Foul Play, although this time she's man-hungry rather than man-bashing, spending much of the movie hitting on the indulgent VP.  Jack Weston, not looking much older than he did in Please Don't Eat the Daisies twenty years earlier, turns up in a small role as the lecherous owner of the local disco.

The Village People had a couple songs on the Thank God It's Friday soundtrack.  Dancer Wade Collings was Jennifer's partner in that movie.  "Young Disco Dancer" Daniel Selby was Boy in Airport in Goin' Coconuts.  Ventriloquist Jerry Layne was also in Americathon.  Selma Archerd, Mrs. Williams here, was a Telethon Phone Celebrity in that movie, as well as a passenger in The Big Bus.

Dick Patterson plays the boss at the record store, and he was Mr. Rudie in Grease and would be Mr. Spears in Grease 2.  Stick-up Lady Paula Trueman was one of the old ladies in Annie Hall and would also appear in Zelig.  Blackie Lawless (great name!) is "Metal guy with leash at audition" and would be Commercial Headbanger in This Is Spinal Tap.  

One more time!

Grease

Grease
June 16, 1978
Paramount
Musical, Comedy, Historical, Romance, Fantasy
VHS
B-

This is both a beloved "classic" and an entry in the Medveds' lists of turkeys.  I've seen it countless times and I still don't quite know what I think of it.  Well, if you must know, I guess I think it's a movie with good to great songs ("Hopelessly Devoted" probably the best of the lot, although much more '70s than '50s) and mostly not very likable characters.  It's hard to care about the romance between John Travolta (age 24) as Danny and Olivia Newton-John (29) as Sandy, when their personalities are such a poor fit, and the changes they make to prove to be worthy of each other seem pointless.  The secondary couple, Jeff Conaway (27) as Kenickie and Stockard Channing (34) as Rizzo, are much more interesting, she especially.  She's not exactly likable either, but she's got personality, has some of the best lines ("With relish" and the "defective typewriter" one in particular), and her "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" provides the only genuine emotion in the movie, raising this from a C+ to a B-.

As for the unlikability, the characters are often stupid and/or needlessly cruel, as when they mock nerdy Eddie Deezen.  They're not any nicer to their friends, including the way that Jan is called fat (while being asked out!), when she looks petite.  The characters in Grease 2 are no saints, but there's less mean-spiritedness in that film, so in some ways I like it better, although it's certainly worse written, directed, acted, sung, danced, etc.  (But then it's more clearly a so-bad-it's-good turkey.)

Still, yes, watch this film for the musical numbers, from the title track onward.  The songs will get stuck in your head, but you probably won't mind.  Chances are, you already know them.  (Well, maybe not the smuttier lines of "Greased Lightning," if you've seen an edited version of the movie.)

The mostly female school staff includes Eve Arden as Principal McGee, Dody Goodman as Arden's assistant Blanche, Fannie Flagg as Nurse Wilkins, and Alice Ghostley as the shop teacher Mrs. Murdock, but there's also Sid Caesar as Coach Calhoun.  Edd Byrnes plays lecherous National Bandstand host Vince Fontaine.  Joan Blondell is Vi the waitress.  Frankie Avalon is Frenchy's Teen Angel guardian.  Sha-Na-Na, almost a decade before/after Woodstock, is the band at the big dance.

I'm using the "Stigwood stalwarts" tag to cover the many dancers who perform not only here but also Sgt. Pepper and/or Grease 2:  Barbi Alison, Helena Adreyko, Jennifer Buchanan, Carol Culver, Cindy DeVore, Dennis Daniels, Larry Dusich, Deborah Fishman, John Robert Garrett, Sandra Gray, Mimi Lieber, Sean Moran, Bob Quinn, Greg Rosatti, Andy Roth, Lou Spadaccini, Judy Susman, Andy Tennant, and Richard Weisman.  Wendie Jo Sperber is also a dancer here.  (I think she's the girl in the pink dress and dark ponytails in the carnival scene at the end.)  Another dancer, Daniel Levans, would be assistant choreographer on Can't Stop the Music.

Also, Dennis Stewart, who plays Leo, would be a dancer in Sgt. Pepper, as well as Balmudo in Grease 2.  (He's the zit-faced leader of the rival gang.)  Dick Patterson, Mr. Rudie here, would be Mr. Spears in G2.  Didi Conn (26), as Frenchy (the one genuinely sweet character) would be the only one of the main "teenagers" to return for G2.  Scriptwriters Alan Carr and Bronte Woodard would co-write Can'tStM.  And choreographer Patricia Birch would direct G2. 

The "fantasy" tag is for the flying car at the end, and not for the surreal New York accents in sunny California.