Think Big

Think Big
March 1990
Concorde Pictures
Comedy, Action, Sci-Fi
VHS
B-

While this isn't a very impressive movie to kick off the '90s with, I nonetheless find it entertaining.  It gets the job done, even if it's never particularly plausible.  "The Barbarians," twin body-builders, play the main characters (truck drivers hauling toxic waste) and sing the title song (over opening and closing credits).  Claudia Christian (later of Babylon 5) is a psychologist.  Ari Meyers (fresh off Kate & Allie) is an electronics genius who dresses like an average late '80s/early '90s teen.  Martin Mull is a weasely villain, and Richard Moll (with hair) is more recognizable than he was as the Abominable Snowman in Caveman.  John Carradine is a repo man.  Michael Winslow, as the twins' friend, isn't given much to do, not even sound effects.

Peter Lupus, as Bad Guy #1, doesn't look drastically different than he did a quarter-century earlier as Flex Martian in Muscle Beach Party, although obviously less creatively named.  David Bowe, who plays a security guard, was Mountain in Back to the Beach.

Caveman

Caveman
April 17, 1981
United Artists
Comedy, Historical
VHS
B-

This silly comedy starring 40-year-old Ringo Starr as the title character has troubling sexual politics, so I want to address that before talking about what I like about the movie.  I know, it's about cavepeople and it parodies that prehistoric genre.  But the men are a diverse bunch that includes a midget, a gay couple, an old blind man (Jack Gilford), a black man, and an "Asian" man who speaks English and has a pet iguana.  There are only two women with memorable roles: busty brunette 33-year-old Barbara Bach as Lana the sexpot and leggy blonde 31-year-old Shelley Long as "nice girl" Tala.  The latter is willing to zug-zug and she's sneaky and vengeful, so she's not entirely "nice," but this is basically Veronica & Betty One Zillion B.C.  Starr as Atouk ultimately chooses Tala, but in real life he married Bach ten days after this movie was released, and they're still together.

As for our "nice guy" hero, he drugs Lana and her mate, macho Tonda, in order to literally sleep with her, and then later, with the help of his best pal (or bobo) Lar, played by 27-year-old Dennis Quaid, attempts to kidnap Lana!  Yes, Tonda and his tribe later kidnap all the women of the misfit tribe Atouk leads, but I think there should've been a greater moral distinction than this.  In fact, Atouk and his bobos invent weapons in order to conquer the physically stronger tribe.  And this is never addressed, even comedically.  In contrast, the two men who hold hands are accepted by Atouk and Lar with smiles, so it's not like the movie wasn't smart enough to put a spin on the treatment of women and violence in such movies.

That's the thing.  Although this movie has been described as brainless, and it's certainly a lot less intellectual than its contemporary Quest for Fire, it's clear some thought went into it, as seen in the way it's set specifically on October 9th (Starr's tribute to his recently slain former bandmate, as this was John Lennon's birthday).  Every dinosaur (or macha) is individualized (yes, more than the cavewomen), looking just real enough in stop-action animation but with touches like googly-eyes or a tendency to howl at the moon.  The primitive made-up language is simple and clear but flexible enough to cover every situation.  The Mexican scenery is stark but inviting.  And the trope of the caveperson or group inventing everything (played straight in the Clan of the Cave Bear, the book of which was released the previous year) is done well, especially the inventions of fried eggs and music.  The movie is sometimes funny and it's certainly watching once or twice (or more) but don't expect anything spectacular.

This time Avery Schreiber is Ock. Paco Morayta, who's Flok here, would shortly be Ramirez in Zorro: The Gay Blade.  Cowriter Rudy De Luca would also cowrite the equally silly Million Dollar Mystery.