Speedway

Speedway
June 12, 1968
MGM
Musical, Comedy
VHS
D+

Not only doesn't this match the fun of Spinout, I actually enjoyed this movie less than Fireball 500 and Thunder Alley.  Yes, part of the problem is there's way too much time spent on the races.  (As always, Sandy Reed is the announcer.  You could probably make a drinking game out of every time he remarks that a driver emerging from a car looks like he's OK.)  But a much bigger problem is the way that two of the characters are treated by Elvis and by the script: the one played by Bixby and the one played by Sinatra (both blonde this time).

Bixby's character is Elvis's best friend and manager, enabling him to steal Elvis's money and lose it gambling.  He also "seduces" girls, including partially tearing the clothes off one, who turns out to be waiting for Elvis to come home.  "No wonder you kept fighting me!"  Bixby is presented comedically (although there are no actual laughs), and he's never punished or even scolded.  Elvis looks at most mildly annoyed.

Meanwhile, Sinatra plays a tax collector, working for Gale Gordon.  The poor woman is just doing her job, but she gets called an "iceberg" and is later bullied by Elvis (in a hotel, not while working) because she won't listen to his excuses.  This leads to him kissing her and then them falling in love.  Ick!

I'm not sure if it's cute or icky that Elvis sings a song to a little girl of about seven (she's got four younger sisters) explaining that he can't marry her because it "isn't her time yet."  (And, yes, in real life Elvis had recently married Priscilla, who was 14 when they fell in love.)  The little girl's father is played by William Schallert, who for once doesn't seem like the smartest guy in the room.

The two songs you should actually listen to-- the reason why this isn't graded lower than Meet Me in St. Louis-- are Nancy's "Your Groovy Self," which is as silly as it sounds, but has that "Boots Are Made" touch, and "He's Your Uncle, Not Your Dad," which is actually sillier than it sounds.  It's set in an IRS office and it shows that Taurog must've learned something at AIP, since it would've fit in just fine in Sgt. Deadhead.  (The "uncle" is Uncle Sam.)  Both numbers are easy to spot, so fast-forwarding or scene-selecting should be no problem.  Otherwise, stay away, Joe.

Claude Stroud, who plays a drunk here, was the pianist in All About Eve.  Go-go dancer Sharon Garrett was a yoga girl in Beach Party.  Gari Hardy, who plays "Dumb Blonde," was a harem girl in John Goldfarb.  "Miss Beverly Hills" was in I'll Take Sweden.  Courtney Brown was in Birds Do It.  Charlotte Considine, who plays Lori the crying waitress, was Miss Reynolds in Doctor, You've Got to Be Kidding!

Sheryl Ullman was in Spinout.  Elvis's buddy Charlie Hodge, who was a barber in Clambake, is a guitarist here.  Arlene Charles was also in Clambake.  George Cisar, who's "Portly Bald-Headed Man," would be Charlie the Doorman in Skidoo.

Thunder Alley

Thunder Alley
March 22, 1967
AIP
Drama
DVD
C-

This is more of a drama than Fireball 500, although Annette does get a nice solo.  (Fabian again doesn't sing.)  Much of it is boring, but I was surprised by the relative depth to Annette's character and Diane McBain's, with the two rivals bonding despite their competition over Fabian.  McBain and Fabian have a racy (no pun intended) scene in a motel, racier than Frankie's with Julie Parrish.  They're both topless in bed, although she's got that movie-only thing of the sheet pulled up to her armpits.  There's also a wilder-than-a-beach-party party where one girl dances in her bra and miniskirt while another strips to nothing.  (We see her clothes flying but no actual nudity.)

Fabian is as bland as ever, but Warren Berlinger gets to be a "nice guy" turned wrong, and Jan Murray is pretty good as Annette's money-grubbing but good-hearted father.  However, the guys just aren't as interesting as Annette, who's out of character but still likable, even as she does amateur psychoanalysis, stunt driving, drunk driving, and man-stealing.

Surviving Beach Party crowd members are Ronnie Dayton, Guy Hemric, Luree Nicholson Holmes, Mary Hughes, Salli Sachse, and Rosemary Williams (the English girl in How to Stuff a Wild Bikini).  As in F500, they're not given much to do.

Announcer Sandy Reed was in F500 and would be in Speedway.  Baynes Barron also did F500 and would be in C.H.O.M.P.S.  Maureen Arthur, who plays Babe, would have similar blonde bimbo roles with a humorous side in How to Commit Marriage and The Love God?  I don't think I have any other Michael Bell movies, but he did make two memorable appearances as sleazeballs on Three's Company.

"So I said, if I sing in a movie, how can I be taken seriously as an actor?"

Fireball 500

Fireball 500
June 7, 1966
AIP
Drama, Musical
DVD
C-

When this movie started, I got my hopes up for a moment that Art Clokey had directed it, as I joked on my How to Stuff a Wild Bikini post.  Alas, it's just a bit of Claymation in a humorous opening that fails to set the tone for what is essentially a drama with some wisecracks and songs in it.  If Sgt. Deadhead and The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini are sort of cousins to the basic Beach Party series, this is a more distant relation, despite the cast and a script by director Asher and his frequent BP cowriter Leo Townsend.  I find racing boring, so it was guaranteed I wasn't going to like this.  Also Frankie flirts unsuccessfully with Annette, and they're mostly paired with much less attractive (personalities as well as physically) people: he with Julie Parrish, who was Dee Dee in Winter a-Go-Go, although I don't think she was wearing the unflattering blonde wig there; Annette with a very wooden Fabian, who once again doesn't sing.  Annette and particularly Frankie do, and he gets a surprisingly good, sort of Elvisy song, "My Way."  The movie is set in the South, with not only the Californian scenery unconvincingly trying to pass, but also people like the formerly Brooklynese Harvey Lembeck.

The movie has more "adult" content than the Beach Party series, with not only drinking and moonshining, but Frankie and Julie spending time together in a motel, he without his shirt, as she grabs his butt.  There's belly-dancing, with costumes that look suspiciously like Bobbi Shaw's circus outfit in Invisible Bikini.  Also, the fist fights aren't played for laughs, and Mike Nader's character dies.  (You will see it coming as soon as he has a brief bonding moment with Frankie.)  I vaguely remember trying to watch either this movie or its successor, Thunder Alley, on TV years ago but getting bored and giving up.  They're both on my DVD collection of "Frankie & Annette" movies, although this barely qualifies as an F & A movie and I think Thunder doesn't even have Frankie.  Bottom line, if you like racing or are a hardcore AIP completist, watch this with lowered standards.  All others, beware.

Besides Nader, some of the Beach Party crowd shows up, although not given much more to do than in Invisible Bikini.  Ed Garner (presumably aged up) plays the farmer, Sue Hamilton his daughter.  Beach girls turned race fans, including Fabian's "eager beavers," are Linda Opie Bent, Patti Chandler, Jo Collins, Mary Hughes, Luree Nicholson Holmes, and Salli Sachse.

Chill Wills, who plays Annette's uncle, was in It's a Gift more than thirty years earlier.  Renee Riano was the maid in Bikini Beach.  Len Lesser, who was North Dakota Pete in How to Stuff, is a man in the garage here.  Announcer Sandy Reed and Baynes Barron, Agent Bronson here, would also appear in Thunder Alley.