Troop Beverly Hills

Troop Beverly Hills
March 24, 1989
Fries Entertainment
Comedy
VHS
C+

While there are things to like about this movie-- Betty Thomas's performance as the villainess, the redheaded-in-this Shelley Long's wardrobe, and the Beach Boys song "Make It Big," which plays over the opening and closing credits-- I must admit I find it a bit toothless and forgettable.  One big flaw is that while Long's character and the pack of not-Girl-Scouts are likable enough, I didn't find myself at all drawn in by their problems, because everything is so cliched and formulaic.  (Even Long's character's estrangement from Craig T. Nelson is blah.)  Mary Gross is the most conflicted character, as a nice person caught up Thomas's schemes, but her problem is also easily resolved.  The other major flaw is that there are a whole bunch of cameos and it's on a sub-Scooby-Doo level, e.g. "Look, it's Pia Zadora," and then she's given little to do, unlike in Hairspray.  (The one exception is Ted McGinley, who boasts-- boasts!-- about being Ace the photographer on The Love Boat, as if he knows that someday they'll name a "Jump the Shark" webpage after him.)

The script was written by two female Saturday Night Live writers from the first half of the '80s, so it's not unreasonable to expect a sharper satire.  Even the jokes about the Marcos-like dictator couple are pretty bland.  Not only Clueless, but this movie's peer Earth Girls Are Easy would more intelligently and more amusingly mock the Southern Californian lifestyle.

Mary Gregory, who plays the judge, was Dr. Melik in Sleeper.  Willie Garson, who plays Bruce, would be Phil's Assistant Kenny in Groundhog Day.  Betty Thomas and Shelley Long must've gotten along a lot better than their characters did, since Thomas would direct Long in the first big-screen Brady Bunch movie.

The battle for Mary Gross's soul begins!

Back to the Beach

Back to the Beach
August 7, 1987
Paramount
Comedy, Musical
VHS
B-

I have a soft spot for this then-modern-day follow-up to the Beach Party series but I will admit that it can't sustain the wonderful pre-title sequence.  It's never boring, but some of the jokes are a bit clunky and the energy feels off much of the time.  It's certainly one of the most amiable B-s I own and I would recommend it, but let me talk about some of the issues I have with it.

Number one is that at this point, more years have passed since BttB was released than there had been in the gap between this and How to Stuff a Wild Bikini, and the '80sness has definitely not aged well.  You wouldn't think buxom young blondes could look bad, but see a number of them in the most horrendous of late '80s neon/fluorescent colors and you'll be wishing that Annette's fondness for polka dots had become a trend.  The modern and modernized-'60s music generally does not work, although Annette's revamped "Jamaican Ska" understandably enchants the entire beach.

Number two is the misguided nostalgia.  Now, I know you're saying, Wait, this is a movie starring Frankie and Annette as Frankie and Annette.  But that's kind of the problem.  Frankie was "Frankie" but he was never "The Big Kahuna."  And Annette, as any real Beach Party fan knows, was "Dee Dee" (short for "Dolores").  As welcome as Connie Stevens is (like F & A she looks great in this), she was never part of the series, so setting her up as both Annette's rival and future in-law seems wrong.  I realize this movie was marketed at the mainstream (and did quite well commercially and critically as I recall), but it would've been nice to bring in Deborah Walley, John Ashley, and some more of the gang (Mike Nader! Donna Loren!), rather than make us grateful for "Dick Dale and at least two of the Del-Tones."  (Two of Frankie's real-life sons are part of the band, a nice touch.)

Expanding on point number two, the movie has an odd assortment of mostly television cameos, and not ones from The Mickey Mouse Club.  June, Wally, and Beaver Cleaver show up (with a little Siskel & Ebert parody that I presume Gene & Roger liked, since they gave two thumbs up), and I'll admit it's good to see Gilligan and the Skipper (Bob Denver has some of the best lines in the film), and Don Adams is kinda sorta Maxwell-Smart, but what does this have to do with the original low-budget movie series?  O.J. Simpson (in a gag that probably no one under thirty will get now without Googling) and Peewee Herman have even more random cameos.

There are a whole bunch of characters who aren't given much to do (including F & A's daughter), yet we're supposed to care when some girl (I think her name was Robin) who can't swim might have to face the leader of the rival surfer gang.  It's like a lot got lost in the editing, or among the drafts of the no less than six writers.  (Does this, dare I say it, need a director's cut?)

But Frankie & Annette are themselves as delightful as ever, good-naturedly parodying themselves and having fun with the usually deliberately hokey script.  Demian Slade as their 12-year-old son has most of the great lines that Bob Denver doesn't have.  I think they should've had him continue to narrate throughout the film, because, unlike Woody Allen in Radio Days, he adds a whole other great layer to the proceedings.  Overall, I'd put this on a level with the average Beach Party movie, which is impressive considering how different it is and how much time had passed.  I wish it was more than it is, but what it is is good summer fun, even in the winter.

Note, Connie's beach date, Scott L. Treger, was a basketball player in Soul Man.

Beach Ball

Beach Ball
September 29, 1965
Paramount
Comedy, Musical
VHS
C-

While no one is going to argue that the AIP Beach Party movies are brilliant, they are to one degree or another fun, and they shine in comparison to this knock-off.  The leads, especially Edd Byrnes (32 and doing a bad job of passing for 20), are unsympathetic, and there aren't any minor characters to hold my interest.  However, except for some moderate (for its time) sexism, the movie is pretty innocuous, and some of the music is good or at least interesting, as when the Supremes sing not one but two surf songs, including the title track.  To balance that, the Hondells are again forgettable, and the songs that Edd allegedly writes for his friends, The Wigglers, have some of the most pathetic rhymes in pop music.  (I swear one was "day" & "day"!)  Oh, and the guys dress in drag at the end, with some of the ugliest wigs in recorded history.

Don Edmonds, who plays Bob, was Larry Neal in Gidget Goes Hawaiian.  Chris Noel (Susan) and Gail Gilmore (Deborah) were both in Girl Happy.  Aron Kincaid (Jack), Mikki Jamison (Augusta), Dick Miller (Cop #1), and Bill Sampson (no relation to the All About Eve character) all appear in Ski Party as well.  Sid Haig, who is the drummer for the Righteous Brothers here, would have a scene-stealing role as Daddy (not Big or Little) in It's a Bikini World, while Jack Bernardi, who plays Mr. Wilk, would be in IaBW as Harvey Pulp.  Larry Billman would dance in Live a Little, Love a Little as well as here.

For some definitions of "hits."