Troop Beverly Hills

Troop Beverly Hills
March 24, 1989
Fries Entertainment
Comedy
VHS
C+

While there are things to like about this movie-- Betty Thomas's performance as the villainess, the redheaded-in-this Shelley Long's wardrobe, and the Beach Boys song "Make It Big," which plays over the opening and closing credits-- I must admit I find it a bit toothless and forgettable.  One big flaw is that while Long's character and the pack of not-Girl-Scouts are likable enough, I didn't find myself at all drawn in by their problems, because everything is so cliched and formulaic.  (Even Long's character's estrangement from Craig T. Nelson is blah.)  Mary Gross is the most conflicted character, as a nice person caught up Thomas's schemes, but her problem is also easily resolved.  The other major flaw is that there are a whole bunch of cameos and it's on a sub-Scooby-Doo level, e.g. "Look, it's Pia Zadora," and then she's given little to do, unlike in Hairspray.  (The one exception is Ted McGinley, who boasts-- boasts!-- about being Ace the photographer on The Love Boat, as if he knows that someday they'll name a "Jump the Shark" webpage after him.)

The script was written by two female Saturday Night Live writers from the first half of the '80s, so it's not unreasonable to expect a sharper satire.  Even the jokes about the Marcos-like dictator couple are pretty bland.  Not only Clueless, but this movie's peer Earth Girls Are Easy would more intelligently and more amusingly mock the Southern Californian lifestyle.

Mary Gregory, who plays the judge, was Dr. Melik in Sleeper.  Willie Garson, who plays Bruce, would be Phil's Assistant Kenny in Groundhog Day.  Betty Thomas and Shelley Long must've gotten along a lot better than their characters did, since Thomas would direct Long in the first big-screen Brady Bunch movie.

The battle for Mary Gross's soul begins!

Back to the Beach

Back to the Beach
August 7, 1987
Paramount
Comedy, Musical
VHS
B-

I have a soft spot for this then-modern-day follow-up to the Beach Party series but I will admit that it can't sustain the wonderful pre-title sequence.  It's never boring, but some of the jokes are a bit clunky and the energy feels off much of the time.  It's certainly one of the most amiable B-s I own and I would recommend it, but let me talk about some of the issues I have with it.

Number one is that at this point, more years have passed since BttB was released than there had been in the gap between this and How to Stuff a Wild Bikini, and the '80sness has definitely not aged well.  You wouldn't think buxom young blondes could look bad, but see a number of them in the most horrendous of late '80s neon/fluorescent colors and you'll be wishing that Annette's fondness for polka dots had become a trend.  The modern and modernized-'60s music generally does not work, although Annette's revamped "Jamaican Ska" understandably enchants the entire beach.

Number two is the misguided nostalgia.  Now, I know you're saying, Wait, this is a movie starring Frankie and Annette as Frankie and Annette.  But that's kind of the problem.  Frankie was "Frankie" but he was never "The Big Kahuna."  And Annette, as any real Beach Party fan knows, was "Dee Dee" (short for "Dolores").  As welcome as Connie Stevens is (like F & A she looks great in this), she was never part of the series, so setting her up as both Annette's rival and future in-law seems wrong.  I realize this movie was marketed at the mainstream (and did quite well commercially and critically as I recall), but it would've been nice to bring in Deborah Walley, John Ashley, and some more of the gang (Mike Nader! Donna Loren!), rather than make us grateful for "Dick Dale and at least two of the Del-Tones."  (Two of Frankie's real-life sons are part of the band, a nice touch.)

Expanding on point number two, the movie has an odd assortment of mostly television cameos, and not ones from The Mickey Mouse Club.  June, Wally, and Beaver Cleaver show up (with a little Siskel & Ebert parody that I presume Gene & Roger liked, since they gave two thumbs up), and I'll admit it's good to see Gilligan and the Skipper (Bob Denver has some of the best lines in the film), and Don Adams is kinda sorta Maxwell-Smart, but what does this have to do with the original low-budget movie series?  O.J. Simpson (in a gag that probably no one under thirty will get now without Googling) and Peewee Herman have even more random cameos.

There are a whole bunch of characters who aren't given much to do (including F & A's daughter), yet we're supposed to care when some girl (I think her name was Robin) who can't swim might have to face the leader of the rival surfer gang.  It's like a lot got lost in the editing, or among the drafts of the no less than six writers.  (Does this, dare I say it, need a director's cut?)

But Frankie & Annette are themselves as delightful as ever, good-naturedly parodying themselves and having fun with the usually deliberately hokey script.  Demian Slade as their 12-year-old son has most of the great lines that Bob Denver doesn't have.  I think they should've had him continue to narrate throughout the film, because, unlike Woody Allen in Radio Days, he adds a whole other great layer to the proceedings.  Overall, I'd put this on a level with the average Beach Party movie, which is impressive considering how different it is and how much time had passed.  I wish it was more than it is, but what it is is good summer fun, even in the winter.

Note, Connie's beach date, Scott L. Treger, was a basketball player in Soul Man.

Thunder Alley

Thunder Alley
March 22, 1967
AIP
Drama
DVD
C-

This is more of a drama than Fireball 500, although Annette does get a nice solo.  (Fabian again doesn't sing.)  Much of it is boring, but I was surprised by the relative depth to Annette's character and Diane McBain's, with the two rivals bonding despite their competition over Fabian.  McBain and Fabian have a racy (no pun intended) scene in a motel, racier than Frankie's with Julie Parrish.  They're both topless in bed, although she's got that movie-only thing of the sheet pulled up to her armpits.  There's also a wilder-than-a-beach-party party where one girl dances in her bra and miniskirt while another strips to nothing.  (We see her clothes flying but no actual nudity.)

Fabian is as bland as ever, but Warren Berlinger gets to be a "nice guy" turned wrong, and Jan Murray is pretty good as Annette's money-grubbing but good-hearted father.  However, the guys just aren't as interesting as Annette, who's out of character but still likable, even as she does amateur psychoanalysis, stunt driving, drunk driving, and man-stealing.

Surviving Beach Party crowd members are Ronnie Dayton, Guy Hemric, Luree Nicholson Holmes, Mary Hughes, Salli Sachse, and Rosemary Williams (the English girl in How to Stuff a Wild Bikini).  As in F500, they're not given much to do.

Announcer Sandy Reed was in F500 and would be in Speedway.  Baynes Barron also did F500 and would be in C.H.O.M.P.S.  Maureen Arthur, who plays Babe, would have similar blonde bimbo roles with a humorous side in How to Commit Marriage and The Love God?  I don't think I have any other Michael Bell movies, but he did make two memorable appearances as sleazeballs on Three's Company.

"So I said, if I sing in a movie, how can I be taken seriously as an actor?"

Fireball 500

Fireball 500
June 7, 1966
AIP
Drama, Musical
DVD
C-

When this movie started, I got my hopes up for a moment that Art Clokey had directed it, as I joked on my How to Stuff a Wild Bikini post.  Alas, it's just a bit of Claymation in a humorous opening that fails to set the tone for what is essentially a drama with some wisecracks and songs in it.  If Sgt. Deadhead and The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini are sort of cousins to the basic Beach Party series, this is a more distant relation, despite the cast and a script by director Asher and his frequent BP cowriter Leo Townsend.  I find racing boring, so it was guaranteed I wasn't going to like this.  Also Frankie flirts unsuccessfully with Annette, and they're mostly paired with much less attractive (personalities as well as physically) people: he with Julie Parrish, who was Dee Dee in Winter a-Go-Go, although I don't think she was wearing the unflattering blonde wig there; Annette with a very wooden Fabian, who once again doesn't sing.  Annette and particularly Frankie do, and he gets a surprisingly good, sort of Elvisy song, "My Way."  The movie is set in the South, with not only the Californian scenery unconvincingly trying to pass, but also people like the formerly Brooklynese Harvey Lembeck.

The movie has more "adult" content than the Beach Party series, with not only drinking and moonshining, but Frankie and Julie spending time together in a motel, he without his shirt, as she grabs his butt.  There's belly-dancing, with costumes that look suspiciously like Bobbi Shaw's circus outfit in Invisible Bikini.  Also, the fist fights aren't played for laughs, and Mike Nader's character dies.  (You will see it coming as soon as he has a brief bonding moment with Frankie.)  I vaguely remember trying to watch either this movie or its successor, Thunder Alley, on TV years ago but getting bored and giving up.  They're both on my DVD collection of "Frankie & Annette" movies, although this barely qualifies as an F & A movie and I think Thunder doesn't even have Frankie.  Bottom line, if you like racing or are a hardcore AIP completist, watch this with lowered standards.  All others, beware.

Besides Nader, some of the Beach Party crowd shows up, although not given much more to do than in Invisible Bikini.  Ed Garner (presumably aged up) plays the farmer, Sue Hamilton his daughter.  Beach girls turned race fans, including Fabian's "eager beavers," are Linda Opie Bent, Patti Chandler, Jo Collins, Mary Hughes, Luree Nicholson Holmes, and Salli Sachse.

Chill Wills, who plays Annette's uncle, was in It's a Gift more than thirty years earlier.  Renee Riano was the maid in Bikini Beach.  Len Lesser, who was North Dakota Pete in How to Stuff, is a man in the garage here.  Announcer Sandy Reed and Baynes Barron, Agent Bronson here, would also appear in Thunder Alley.

Ski Party

Ski Party
June (?) 30, 1965
AIP
Comedy, Musical
DVD
C

This may be the low for the AIP Beach Party and Spin-Offs series.  (It's been awhile since I've seen The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, and there are the "racing" movies with Fabian coming up, so I'm not going to commit myself just yet.)  Alan Rafkin has mostly directed for TV, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the script is by Robert Kaufman, who also wrote AIP's Dr. Goldfoot movies, which I've never cared for.  There are serious problems with this script, most notably the fact that Frankie*, and to some degree his sidekick Dwayne, won't take no for an answer when it comes to kissing+ (Yvonne's character laughs as she tells of Dwayne tying her up with hair ribbons on their first date!), dress in drag (in what Dwayne acknowledges onscreen is a Some Like It Hot rip-off) in order to spy on girls (oh, and to learn to ski on the bunny slope, not exactly on the level of having a Chicago mob chasing after you), and worst of all drive a mentally ill man further into insanity.  And then in the end, Deborah's character is the one who apologizes!  Deborah wonders what Yvonne did wrong and the future Batgirl replies, "Guilt by association."

There are really only two reasons to watch this movie, and they may not be enough for all but the completist.  One, there's more of the AIP fourth-wall-breaking than we usually get, by both Frankie and Dwayne.  (The latter had practice on Dobie Gillis.)  At one point, Frankie asks what the average age of the audience is, and Dwayne replies 15, so they have to leave the slumber party.  There's also one of the odder cameos at AIP, Annette Funicello playing a hot 35-year-old professor.  (A TILF?)  IMDB says this movie came out in June, but I'm not sure where it actually falls in the Series & Related chronology.  Since I'm reviewing Winter A-Go-Go later today, this seemed like the best place for it.  And, no, AIP never made Cruise Party, as the end credits promise/threaten.

The other good thing about this movie is the music, no, not those darn Hondells, who sing the forgettable title song, but Leslie Gore doing her hit "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows," and the fabulous James Brown and the Famous Flames.  The soul band shows up just before the hour-mark, Yvonne says she has all their albums (since she's cooler than the rest of the cast, I believe her), and then we get a poorly dubbed but wonderfully choreographed rendition of "I Got You (I Feel Good)."  Then they leave, unfortunately, taking most of the energy with them.  Even getting back to the beach at the end doesn't help.

The returning Beach Party crowd includes Patti Chandler, Jo Collins, Mickey Dora, Ed Garner, Mike Nader (given a couple lines), Luree Nicholson Holmes, Mary Hughes, Christopher Riordan, and Salli Sachse.  Bobbi Shaw is again Swedish but seems a bit more fluent than usual.  Aron Kincaid plays a blond stud like he did in Beach Ball, although he ends up falling for Dwayne's alter ego, "Nora."  (Since this is a feeble answer to Some LIH, he gives Nora his pin.  Dwayne/Nora seems to return his feelings, but later claims to have been kidding.  Uh huh.)  Mikki Jamison and Bill Sampson were in Beach Ball with Aron, as was Dick Miller, who this time plays the taxi driver.


*This time, none of the characters have the performers' names.  I just don't care enough to type them all out.  One girl is named "Indian" for inexplicable reasons.

The Monkey's Uncle

The Monkey's Uncle
August 18, 1965
Disney
Comedy, Sci-Fi
VHS
C+

The title and some early scenes suggest that this is going to be sort of a teen version of Bedtime for Bonzo, but Merlin's quasi-adoption of Stanley the chimp is less of the focus than various threats to football at Midvale College.  At least that title allows for one of the better title songs of the '60s, sung by Annette and the Beach Boys, with Sherman Brothers lyrics like this:

Annette: I'd live in a jungle gym in order to be with him.  I love the monkey's uncle, and I wish I were the monkey's aunt!
Beach Boys: Monkey's aunt!....

Annette: On the day he marries me
All: What a nutty family tree!
Mike: A bride!
Brian: A groom!
Beach Boys:  A chimpanzee!

That right there raises the movie from a C to a C+.  (This will be far from the last time that the Beach Boys will do a title song that's much better than the movie it's attached to.)

This time, Merlin's misadventures are slightly more realistic, although "man-powered flight" fueled by an adrenaline smoothie pushes this back into sci-fi.  The first half of the movie is about sleep-learning through LPs.  Questionable ethics again pop up, with the judge urging Merlin to find "an honest way to cheat" on exams, for football player Norm and another idiot jock.  Merlin gets some sexist dialogue about Jennifer being stupid and illogical, you know, feminine.  There's a sort of rival for Jennifer, but because this is Disney, we're cheated of a moment when the girl is supposed to come out of the shower, presumably in a towel.  (By the time of Enchanted, it would be a whole other world of course.)

You'll notice that Annette not only looks non-pregnant, but her hair still has red highlights.  This was actually filmed in '64 (I think shortly before or after Uncle Walt found out that Tommy Kirk was gay), but not released for awhile.

Arthur O'Connell, Darius Green III here, was a reporter in Citizen Kane, and more recently played Gidget's first film father.  Similarly, Frank Faylen, who's the anti-football Mr. Dearborne, was Ernie the cabdriver in It's a Wonderful Life, but he's probably better known as Dobie Gillis's TV dad.  Leon Ames is back as Judge Holmsby, with a much larger role than before.  Connie Gilchrist again plays Holmsby's housekeeper.

How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

How to Stuff a Wild Bikini
July 14, 1965
AIP
Comedy, Musical, Fantasy
DVD
B-

While Frankie was trying to break into the mainstream with I'll Take Sweden, the Beach Party series soldiered on.  And so Frankie is again reduced to a cameo, if a bigger one than in Pajama Party.  Unfortunately, Dwayne Hickman (as "Rick") isn't as natural a replacement as Tommy Kirk was, and Annette being in the second trimester of her pregnancy didn't help matters.  It is fun to read a subtext into the movie, that Frankie knocked Dee Dee up before joining the Navy, and no one has noticed yet.  That makes about as much sense as what we see on the surface, that she decides to lose her virginity to Rick when she finds out that Frankie has a native girl (Irene Tsu) he's "making love with," as the (nameless) girl puts it.  In fact, both Rick and the native girl anticipate Stephen Stills by five years when they suggest "If you can't be with the boy/girl you love, love the one you're with."  Although Frankie returns in the end for a nice reunion with Dee Dee, it's kind of sad that the closest they get to a duet is a split-screen song they share with their new sweeties.  (And when Dwayne and Annette walk along the process-screen beach, it looks faker than ever.  You can see Dee Dee walking in place before Rick shows up!)

John Ashley is back as Johnny, but even with a guitar, he's not given much to do.  For a moment, it seems like Jody McCrea is going to repeat his Beach Blanket Bingo role of falling for a mythical creature (this time Beverly Adams as the conjured-up Cassandra, the stuffing of the title), but she instead clicks with Von Zipper.  And the Kingsmen, of "Louie Louie" infamy, continue the trend of making me miss Dick Dale and the Del-tones, with what must be one of the worst drummers of the '60s.

Still, if you're going to watch this movie, it's likely going to be for the music, because nearly everyone sings.  In Bingo, Von Zipper and his Rat Pack sang "Follow Your Leader," and here they get two songs: a revamped version of "Follow Your Leader" (when adman Mickey Rooney remakes Von Zipper into Brian Donlevy's image, don't ask) and "The Boy Next Door."  (Jerry Brutsche, Allen Fife, Bob Harvey, John Macchia, Alberta Nelson, Myrna Ross, and as always Andy "J.D." Romano are all back.)  The admen sing "Madison Avenue," one of the weak attempts at cutting satire.  (At least we're spared the psychiatrist singing.)  The beach girls sing "How About Us" and back up Annette on "The Perfect Boy" (the one that the Medveds found outrageous for lines about Euripides and Hercules, as if that's the strangest thing Guy Hemric has come up with).  The boys on the beach sing another of those AIP Songs Inspired by Unrelated Dialogue, this time "Healthy Girl."  And the whole beach crowd sings not only "After the Party," but the title tune.  (Not during the opening credits though.  That's when we get to see Art Clokey animation!)

OK, you might be watching for that animation.  Or you can watch the movie for some more weird subtext, like the moment when Mickey Rooney flicks a girl's breast on the way to chucking her under her chin.  (It's not even one of the tall girls!)  Or you can spot the three "gay" jokes: the bookworm who says he "thertainly" has not noticed Cassandra, the tiger "who only likes boys" (why didn't they just say it was man-eating? or would that be worse?), and a man calling his offscreen brother a sissy and making a Mr.-Roper-like limp wrist.  (Bingo did it better, with Paul Lynde telling Von Zipper to save him the next dance, and Von Zipper replying, "OK, but I lead.")

This is the last official movie in the series, although there are several borderline entries still to come, including the one promoted in the closing credits here, Sgt. Deadhead.  With Frankie trying to move on, and Annette starting a family, there would be no more of them as a beach couple, until the sort of sequel, Back to the Beach (1987).

The returning Beach Party crowd includes Ray Atkinson, Patti Chandler, Ron Dayton, Mickey Dora, Johnny Fain, Luree Nicholson Holmes, Mary Hughes, Mike Nader (not as big a role as in Bingo, but he does get to neck with two girls simultaneously), Stephanie Nader, Salli Sachse, and Ned Wynn.  Newcomers who would continue to or at least near the bitter end are Bruce Baker, Jo Collins, Janice Levinson, Rosemary Williams (English girl), Sue Williams (as 4'11" "Peanut," the girl Rooney tweaks), and Christopher Riordan, but Riordan was in I'll Take Sweden.  And Marianne Gordon, who uses her real Georgian accent as Chickie, would turn up as Mrs. Whitney in Little Darlings.  Composer Hemric, who usually is part of the BP crowd, here plays an adman.  Although Meredith MacRae is long gone from the studio, her mother Sheila again plays a secretary.

Buster Keaton this time is Polynesian, as "Bwana Chickie Baby," although he does talk about "firewater" and then remark, "And I ain't even an Indian."  Bobbi Shaw, as always his assistant, this time plays Khola Koku (a pun on Coca-Cola?) and has been given a dark wig and a sarong, but she still sounds Swedish with her "Yah, Yah."  In Bikini Beach, Asher's wife, Elizabeth Montgomery, voiced Lady Bug, while here she has a nonspeaking cameo at the end, as Bwana's daughter the witches' witch, ha ha.

Len Lesser plays South Dakota Slim's meaner brother, North Dakota Pete.  (Presumably, if the series had continued long enough, there would've been Michigan Mike or whatever, as the parody of Minnesota Fats got more and more strained.)  Lesser would have a small role in Fireball 500.

Sig Frohlich, who managed to be both a winged monkey in The Wizard of Oz and a callboy in Easter Parade, here plays an adman.  Shoeshine girl Victoria Carrol would appear in Elvis's Spinout, while Michele Carey, who plays "Michele," would have a much larger role as "Bernice" in Elvis's Live a Little, Love a Little.

Maybe they should've given Asher a rest and had Art Clokey direct the whole thing.

Beach Blanket Bingo

Beach Blanket Bingo
April 14, 1965
AIP
Comedy, Musical, Fantasy
DVD
B-

This is a lot of people's favorite Beach Party movie and it's easy to see why.   The script is again by director William Asher and Leo Townsend, so the formula was fully worked out but not yet stale.  The guest stars are recognizable, especially in retrospect Linda Evans as Sugar Kane.  (Yes, the same spelling as Marilyn's character in Some Like It Hot.)  Frankie & Dee Dee get another nice duet, this one more uptempo and in a round.  (Annette's hair by the way finally looks its natural black, no visible red highlights.)  The title song is the catchiest in the series, and the first half of the movie is pretty solid.  The Bonehead (McCrea, no longer Deadhead, but close enough) & mermaid (Marta Kristen) romance is actually sweet and funny.  And, yes, my fave Mike Nader, now named Butch, gets a bunch of lines (including saying the word "groovy" at least three times, as in "Let's dig this groovy chick"), some stuntwork, and a bit of a romance himself.  (With either Patti Chandler as Patti or newbie Donna Michelle as the latest Animal, I think the latter.  Patti Chandler seems to be one of the end-credits dancers.)  Don Rickles, now Big Drop, gets a seemingly improvised scene where he insults Frankie and friends like he's in Vegas, while Paul Lynde goes through the entire movie powered by deserved snark.  (His sidekick is Earl Wilson as himself, not having aged much in the eighteen years since Copacabana.)

All that said, I find the movie in the middle range of the series, about equivalent to the first entry.  Part of the problem is that Donna Loren gets only one song, while Linda Evans gets two.  (And Linda's are dubbed!)  More seriously, the movie has two plot threads that just don't work.  One is the kidnapping of Sugar by Von Zipper and his Rat Pack, which leads to her rekidnapping by South Dakota Slim, again played by Timothy Carey.  The other is the Bonnie & Steve jealousy subplot.  The two skydiving instructors who work for Big Drop are played by then spouses Deborah Walley and John Ashley.  Now, I don't have a problem with Ashley playing someone outside the Beach Party crowd (especially since it means an expanded role for Mike Nader), and I find Walley a welcome addition to the AIP family.  They have good chemistry together, as do she and Frankie.  But this is my least favorite of her AIP roles because Bonnie not only tries to make Steve jealous with Frankie, she rips her blouse and tries to convince everyone that Frankie attacked her!  The only good thing to come out of this plotline is Annette's line "Don't you 'I love you' me!"

Returning members of the Beach Party crowd are Frank Alesia, Duane Ament, Ray Atkinson, Linda Benson,  Linda Opie Bent, Pam Colbert, Ronnie Dayton, Mickey Dora, Johnny Fain, Ed Garner, Guy Hemric, Luree Holmes, Mary Hughes, Darlene Lucht, Laura Nicholson, Salli Sachse, and Ned Wynn.  There's also newcomer Stephanie Nader, but I don't know if she's related to Mike.

Dark-haired, frowning Myrna Ross replaces auburn-haired, smiling Linda Rogers in the Rat Pack, and Von Zipper refers to her and Alberta as Puss 'n' Boots.  (Alberta is Puss, I guess because she has seniority.)  Jerry Brutsche (still Jeromey, and continuing the Duck Soup sidecar rip-off), Allen Fife, Bob Harvey, John Macchia, and of course Andy "J.D." Romano (still reading the newspaper to Von Zipper) are all back.  Buster Keaton is now playing "Buster" and dressing like he did in the silent days, while Bobbi Shaw, as "Bobbi," is still Swedish and spends the entire movie in the gold & mink bikini she bought at Aunt Wendy's dress shop.

The Hondells would do some other teen flicks I own, but they're not very memorable here or elsewhere.  Jackie Ward, who dubs Sugar's singing voice, would also sing in Charlotte's Web.  Paul Lynde would rock the house in that movie, as Templeton the rat, and in the meantime he would get a TV gig as Uncle Arthur on Asher's Bewitched.

"Into groups of two"?  Math isn't their strong point.

Pajama Party

Pajama Party

November 11, 1964
AIP
Comedy, Musical, Sci-Fi
VHS
B+

The first question is, is this a Beach Party movie?  The answer is yes and no.  On the yes side:

• It's from AIP.
• It shares much of its cast with performers who are in unquestionable BP movies.
• One of the portraits from Bikini Beach (I think of H. H. Honeywagon II) is on the wall.
• One of the guest stars, Elsa Lanchester, is a horror veteran (the Bride of Frankenstein herself).

But then consider this:

• Some of the recognizable cast who are named are not playing the characters they usually do-- notably Annette as "Connie," Jody McCrea as "Big Lunk," and Donna Loren as "Vikki."
• The relationships are not what they usually are, with Connie dating Big Lunk, who used to date Vikki.
• And what of Frankie?  Well, he's playing a Martian named Socum.  Wait, it gets weirder.
• Since Big Lunk cares about volleyball more than romance, Connie falls for Gogo/George, who's played by Annette's Disney pal Tommy Kirk.  He's a Martian, too.
• Oh, and there's no John Ashley.

Most importantly, the movie has a very different feel from its three predecessors.  This is not just due to the introduction of the sci-fi element but also to greater naughtiness than usual.  Not only do we hear a toilet flush, but when a motorcycle crashes, cartoony objects fly by, including a toilet seat!  And instead of Candy's relatively wholesome shimmying, we've got the slow undulations of a new character Jilda (who wears fringe on her bathing suit bottom, while Candy was formerly fringed all over).  When Jilda dances, flowers wilt, candles melt, punch bubbles, marshmallows burst into flame, volcanoes explode, and Dr. Pepper bottles lose their caps.  (I'm sure Donna Loren's sponsors were thrilled.)  You might think that Frank Tashlin had taken over, but actually the director is Don Weis, who would be back for the even more not-in-the-official-series The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, while writer Louis M. Heyward would do the equally offbeat Sergeant Dead Head.

The other thing about this movie is, well, it's crazy.  Not just because there are Martians-- Don Rickles plays one, too, with the sarcasm more natural to him than his Jack Fanny/ Big Drag wimps-- but because, well, it makes no sense and lots of random things happen in it.

• Socum (which is pronounced "Sucum," making it "mucus" backwards) and Big Bang (Rickles) send Gogo to Earth because he's too stupid to be threatening.
• So the first thing Gogo does when he meets an Earthling, Aunt Wendy (Lanchester), is tell her he's a Martian.  (Shades of Chicolini blithely announcing he's a spy in Fredonia.)
• She, and later Connie, have to be told this repeatedly though, because they're skeptical and/or poor listeners.
• Gogo's "raygun" looks more like a wand but is able to freeze/stun people, yet when it's time to confront the bad guys (not the Martians, there are three sets of bad guys), he leaves it behind and instead uses a sword, which gets stuck in the floor.
• He has a transporting device that conveniently attaches to a freestanding wardrobe (ironically not unlike the one Mork slept in before moving up to the attic), so when things need to disappear, he closes the door and presto!
• One of the Earth greats Gogo has studied is Frankie Avalon.
• When Gogo first arrives he's dressed as a movie usher, yet later he wears Big Lunk's clothes "from last year" (ascot and everything, perfect fit).  
• He borrows Big Lunk's "goofy broad-billed red baseball cap," which leads to farce and makeouts for him, Big Lunk, and Eric Von Zipper.
• Oh yeah, the Ratz & Mice are back (I just had to narrow down my tags, so I couldn't tag Lembeck this time), and they resent this beach crowd as much as Frankie's bunch, for putting footprints all over the beach, "except where they've been sitting."  Late in the movie, they pass as "typical cleancut American youts" (influencing My Cousin Vinny?), and go to a pajama party in red p.j.s.
• A more definite Duck Soup reference, Von Zipper, instead of having his own "sickle," now rides in a sidecar, which of course gets left behind.
• The other set of bad guys (besides the Martians and the Rat Pack) are made up of Jesse "Maytag" White, his idiotic sidekick Ben Lessy, Buster Keaton as a cowardly "Red Indian" who says "cowabunga" a lot (sort of an in-joke, for anyone who remembered Howdy Doody, which in '64 would've been a lot of people, especially the target audience of Baby Boomers), and what I still remember the 1964 or '65 Esquire article (which I read in college more than 20 years later) described as "a bosomy blonde Swedish girl who doesn't speak any English."  She's played by Bobbi Shaw, who would become such a fixture in the second half of the series that she would write a fan letter to MAD Magazine when they satirized the films.  
• White, as J. Sinister Hulk, is supposed to be the king of the conmen, and he's trying to steal from Aunt Wendy by the following schemes:
• Getting Helga to seduce Wendy's nephew Big Lunk into telling her where his aunt hides her money;
• Throwing a pajama party with Wendy as chaperone, to get everyone out of her house.
• Wendy owns a very expensive dress shop for teens but is losing $2500/month.  (Too expensive? high overhead?  After all, does it really need a volcano?)  She keeps her money in a wall safe with a very elaborate code.
• The dress shop is run by Dorothy Lamour, who sings as her models, including Toni "Oh, Mickey" Basil and Teri Hope (later Garr), twist, frug, swim, etc.  Her song is "Where Did I Go Wrong?", another of those AIP songs inspired by dialogue.
• Annette serenades a winking stuffed animal.
• After the Rat Pack ends up in the pool and then Wendy throws a potted plant at Von Zipper's head (no "the Finger" this time), Gogo senses that Helga wants to tell him something through mental telepathy, i.e. Sinister's sinister scheme.
• Did I mention that Gogo chooses Connie's love over the conquest of the Earth?
• Sinister, Lessy, and Chief Rotten Eagle (but not Helga, who's reformed through love of Big Lunk) get teleported to Mars, much to Big Bang's annoyance.
• All the Mars scenes are shot with a red filter.
• Frankie's face isn't shown till the end, when he wonders where he went wrong.
• He and Rickles are "special guest stars" who would soon be in Beach Blanket Bingo, which would be relatively sane.  Oh, except for the mermaid falling in love with Deadhead.
• Uncredited is Dorothy Kilgallen, the What's My Line panelist who would die mysteriously a year later.  She was the mother of Kerry Kollmar, the little boy who shows up everywhere (even in the dress shop) to protest all the "mush."  Dorothy (playing "Dorothy") has a brief ride on a motorcycle.

Luree Nicholson Holmes is featured prominently this time, as the perfume girl, and her three-year-old daughter Joi is the "Topless Baby Model."  If that isn't enough nepotism, James H. Nicholson's new wife Susan Hart plays the sultry Jilda.

Members of the Beach Party crowd include Frank Alesia, Roger Bacon, Linda Benson, Patti Chandler, Ronnie Dayton, Johnny Fain, Ed Garner, Guy Hemric, Mary Hughes, Mike Nader (not given much to do this time), Laura Nicholson, Linda Opie, Salli Sachse, and Ned Wynn.  And there are a few new "teens" on the beach: Ray Atkinson; Carey Foster, who'd appear in Winter A-Go-Go; and Ronnie Rondell, Jr., who was Dannie/Donnie Kettle in a few of the Ma and Pa movies.  (He was 27 at this point.)

This time, besides Von Zipper of course, some of the Ratz & Mice are addressed by name, mostly their real-life names: Bob Harvey, the slightly craggy-faced one, here called Robert; Jerry Brutsche (the young blond who has Von Zipper's sidecar), referred to as both Jeromey and Jerome; and Alberta (Nelson of course).  Allen Fife, Linda Rogers, and as always Andy Romano (still called J.D.) also return.

Renie Riano, here a maid, dances with Candy Johnson a bit, though not in the credits as they did in Bikini Beach.  (The credit-dancers are Hart, Keaton, and Lanchester, to an instrumental version of Donna/Vikki's "Among the Young.")  This was Candy's last appearance, in any movie, AIP or not, although she'd live till 2012.  The Nooney Rickett 4, who must be one of the more obscure bands in these movies, somehow manage to show up in both Beach Ball and  Winter A-Go-Go.

"This is a pajama party?"

Bikini Beach

Bikini Beach
July 22, 1964
AIP
Comedy, Musical
DVD
B

This is one of the most enjoyable of the Beach Party movies, even if there's a bit too much drag-racing, and the older couple of Martha Hyer as pro-teen teacher Miss Clements and Keenan Wynn as publisher (of The Bikini Bugle) H. H. Honeywagon III don't have plausible chemistry in the way that Cummings and Malone did in Beach Party.  (A "honeywagon" is a mobile toilet unit near a film set.)  The music is generally better, not just Little Stevie Wonder making a brief return, but also the Pyramids, probably the only bald interracial band of the mid-'60s.  Donna Loren sings "Love's a Secret Weapon," which is the first of several songs in the series that seem inspired by dialogue in previous movies.  Frankie and Annette get their first romantic duet, "Because You're You," and it's very sweet.  Most memorably, Frankie, in his role as the British pop star the Potato Bug, a weak but likable Beatles parody, sings a couple songs, with "yeah, yeahs" and McCartneyesque oos.

Instead of Frankie trying to make Dee Dee jealous, Annette casually makes him jealous with, yes, the Potato Bug.  Partly for this reason, and partly for her relatively revealing and polka-dotted wardrobe, she seems to be having more fun than in previous entries, where she too often sat sulking at a table at the teen hangout as Frankie frolicked with other girls.  This time the hangout is Big Drag's Pit Stop, with Don Rickles as Big Drag.  ("I used to be in the fanny business, but that's all behind me now.")  He paints Jackson-Pollock-ish modern art, which catches the eye of an art dealer, played by this film's horror vet guest star, Boris Karloff.

This movie marks the return of Von Zipper and his gang, and we see that a year later (this is set in the summer, while Muscle BP was set over Easter vacation), he's still affected by the "Himalayan suspenders trick," able to accidentally give himself "the finger."  Frankie remarks that Von Zipper is stoned again, I think in the earlier sense of "drunk" or maybe "unconscious," although you can't be sure with these movies.  There are also cops (played by actors who've done a ton of TV although probably not any other of my movies) who are suspected of drinking on the job.  And there's the sound of a toilet flushing.  (Pajama Party would outdo this though.)  Also, there seem to be more shots than usual of the California coast, as well as a not too convincing small town that the chase scene goes through.  (One street is full of New-York-like brownstones.)

With a talking bird, a surfing "chimp" (Janos Prohaska in a costume, as he'd appear on Gilligan's Island, among other TV shows), and a "teenage werewolf monster," the movie verges on sci-fi/fantasy, but doesn't clearly cross over as later entries would.  Asher again cowrote the script with Robert Dillon, so I'm guessing that it's the addition of Leo Townsend that made the overall difference.  (Asher and Townsend would team up for Beach Blanket Bingo, without Dillon.)

Frank Alesia, Patti Chandler (the girl who keeps walking by the camera in a bikini and heels), and Keenan's 23-year-old son Ned join the Beach Party crowd, while John Ashley, Jody McCrea, Linda Benson, Roger Christian, Mickey Dora, Johnny Fain, Ed Garner, Guy Hemric, Luree Holmes, Mary Hughes, Duane King, Darlene Lucht, Meredith MacRae (as the new "Animal," and getting to utter one of the first onscreen uses of the word "groovy" since the '30s), Linda Opie, Salli Sachse, Gary Usher, Dolores Wells (still "Sniffles"), and of course Mike Nader return.  (Here, Nader really establishes his role as the guy who has mishaps happen to him.  You just know that he'll be the one whose chair is yanked right out from under him when he's smooching a girl, and it's of course his surfboard that Clyde borrows.)

Allen Fife joins the Rat Pack of Andy "J.D." Romano (who we learn has to read to Von Zipper, who never went past the 3rd grade), Jerry Brutsche, Bob Harvey, John Macchia, Alberta Nelson, and Linda Rogers.  Ronnie Dayton, who plays the Potato in the shots he shares with Frankie, would become one the Beach Party crowd in subsequent films (and had done stunts in the earlier two entries).

Old Lady #2 Renie Riano would play a maid in Pajama Party.  Timothy Carey would reprise his role as South Dakota Slim in Beach Blanket Bingo.  Meredith MacRae's mother Sheila plays a secretary here, as she would in How to Stuff a Wild Bikini.  Elizabeth Montgomery, whose Bewitched would premiere that fall, was Asher's new wife and she does the French-accented voice for the Lady Bug.  She would have a cameo in a later entry.

Muscle Beach Party

Muscle Beach Party
March 25, 1964
AIP
Comedy, Musical
DVD
C+

Released the same day as Merlin Jones, this shows Annette's hair looking closer to its usual black, although still with strong red highlights, in some scenes more than others.  It also shows Annette/Dee Dee surfing with Frankie, which is a rarity in these films.  (Annette hated the beach in real life.)  And we see Frankie smoking again, including right after he surfed and as he's singing.  (The Surgeon General's Report on Smoking and Health came out in January of that year, and we will see a gradual decrease in onscreen smoking, but not yet.)

The songs, including the very weak retread of "Don't Stop Now," "Running Wild," as a tribute to Cappy's Place, are for the most part less memorable in this entry, except for "Happy Street" sung twice by 13-year-old Little Stevie Wonder, who'd had a hit with "Fingertips" but was not yet the star he'd become.  If I could use more tags on these posts, I'd tag him, since he'd appear in the follow-up, Bikini Beach.  And I'd tag Morey Amsterdam, who's back as Cappy, although given less to do this time.  Instead of Vincent Price as Big Daddy, we've got Peter Lorre as Mr. Strangdour, one of his last roles, although the credits promise him in Bikini Beach.

Instead of Bob Cummings and Dorothy Malone, we've got Luciana Paluzzi as an Italian contessa and Buddy Hackett seriously miscast as her sarcastic business manager S. Z.  I can't help wondering if the movie might've been improved if Hackett had swapped roles with Don Rickles, who plays wimpy Jack Fanny, manager of a group of musclemen.  This is a parody of Vic Tanny, although everyone calls the character by his full name, so that they can say, "Fanny."  (This naughtiness seems mild compared to the scene where one of the beach guys says either "Let's bug out of here" or "Let's get the f*** out of here.")

This time William Asher not only directed the movie, but he cowrote the script with Robert Dillon, and they'd team up for Bikini Beach as well.  There's some de ja vu here, with jokes being recycled (some not for the last time, as with "You can say that again"), not to mention redone situations like a fight scene at the local teen hangout, but the movie is most notable for what's missing: Eric Von Zipper.  The musclemen just aren't as interesting as the "carbon monoxide commandos."  I'm still using the "Ratz & Mice" tag though, because Alberta Nelson appears as a muscle girl and Bob Harvey (the slightly craggy-faced guy) as a sound-man.

Jody McCrea is still Deadhead, but John Ashley is now known as Johnny instead of Ken.  Candy returns as Candy, now a "secret weapon" who knocks men off their feet and/or surfboards with her fringed go-going.  Donna Loren is introduced as Donna, helping to make the last third of the movie better than the first hour.

Other new additions to the Beach Party crowd include Linda Benson, Guy Hemric, Mary Hughes, Duane King, Darlene Lucht, Linda Opie, and Salli Sachse.  Duane Ament, Roger Christian, Mickey Dora, John Fain, Ed Garner, Ashlyn Martin, Valora Noland (changing from "Rhonda" to "Animal"), Luree Nicholson (now using her married name of Holmes), Lorrie Summers, Gary Usher, Delores Wells (with her character's name changed from "Sue" to "Sniffles"!), and my fave Mike Nader (he this time with a few slangy lines) return.

Future Grizzly Adams star Dan Haggerty plays muscleman Biff, and he'd show up in Girl Happy the next year.

The Misadventures of Merlin Jones

The Misadventures of Merlin Jones
March 25, 1964
Disney
Comedy, Sci-Fi
VHS
C+

By this point in their careers, the two young leads were such Disney veterans that she's known in the credits as simply "Annette," and both are recognizably caricatured in the opening cartoon, which is set to Annette singing the title tune.  They'd done some earlier movies together and have a nice, easy-going chemistry.  Unfortunately, they're not given much to work with.  To begin with, Merlin (played by Kirk) is supposed to be a science nerd, but the two main things he experiments with-- mind-reading and hypnosis-- are more in the nature of pseudoscience.  Yes, misadventures ensue, including some questionable ethics.  Not only does a judge nag Merlin into hypnotizing him to commit a misdemeanor (chimp-napping), but the Science professor not only tricks Merlin into harmless activities like eating a raw potato (telling him it's an apple) and drinking water (telling him it's whiskey), but he has Merlin kiss "the first pretty girl he sees."  Jennifer (Annette) is jealous it's not her, but no one in the class seems to have a problem with the girl being kissed against her will!

Still, there are some mildly amusing moments, like when Kirk eavesdrops on the thoughts of other students in the library, including a beatnik poet.  It's never explained how he doesn't hear everyone in the vicinity, or for that matter how when the Science teacher says Merlin will hear only his voice, Merlin misses all the professor's asides to the class.  My favorite bit, as someone who much prefers cats to dogs, is when Merlin hypnotizes his cat to stand up to the bully neighbor dog.

This was originally made to possibly air as two hour-long (including commercials) Disney TV programs, but reedited for theatrical release it proved popular enough to merit a sequel, The Monkey's Uncle (although as Merlin insists, Stanley is a chimp, not a monkey).  Uncle would have some of the cast besides Tommy and Annette reprising their roles:  Norman Grabowski as the jock Norman, Leon Ames as Judge Holmsby, and Connie Gilchrist as the judge's housekeeper.  (He was the father in Meet Me in St. Louis, while she was Norah Muldoon in Auntie Mame.)  The Augusts would also co-write Uncle's screenplay, while Bill Walsh would co-write Mary Poppins, which would feature the voice of Dal McKennon, who's Detective Hutchins here.  Robert Stevenson would direct both Poppins and Uncle.  Burt Mustin, the elderly bailiff, then 80, would do a lot of television and appear in Mame a decade after this.

Beach Party

Beach Party
August 7, 1963
American International Pictures
Comedy, Musical
DVD
B-

Not bad start to the most famous teen-movie series since Andy Hardy, this is meant to be taken a bit less seriously than the Gidget movies, if not so absurd as the later BP movies would get.  This one has Frankie talking to the audience, Annette (as auburn-haired Dolores) singing advice to herself, and a not fully worked out scheme of love and jealousy.  Is Dolores really just after Professor Bob Cummings to make Frankie jealous, or is she genuinely attracted?  Why does Frankie find it hard to tell Dee Dee (and no, I don't know why it's not Do Do with that spelling) he loves her but he can absent-mindedly say it to Ava (Eva Six)?  Why don't we get any duets with Frankie & Dee Dee, other than the title tune?  And who's the girl with the sexy eyes that has all that chemistry with Frankie in his "Don't Stop Now" number?

Meanwhile, Cummings and the witty Dorothy Malone play an appealing middle-aged couple.  Morey Amsterdam is the sort-of-beatnik running the local hangout, here called Big Daddy's, after the mysterious figure who's revealed to be Vincent Price, there to plug his AIP horror movies.  And of course there's Harvey Lembeck as a brainless Brando (a not so wild one), Eric Von Zipper.  Other than Andy Romano, who plays sidekick J.D., his motorcycle gang of Ratz & Mice are, in alphabetical order, Jerry Brutsche, Bob Harvey, John Macchia, Alberta Nelson (blonde Mouse), and Linda Rogers (auburn-haired Mouse).

John Ashley plays Ken here.  Jody McCrea, who plays Deadhead, is the son of actor Joel McCrea.  (Confusingly, Meredith MacRae is the daughter of Gordon and Sheila MacRae.  She's probably best known for the sitcom Petticoat Junction.)  Valora Noland, who plays Rhonda here (although I'm sure Annette calls her Wanda at first) would in Muscle Beach Party become the first of several actresses to play "Animal" in the series.  Candy Johnson is the fringe-wearing dancer Candy.  Dick Dale (of the Del Tones) plays Dick, and even has his name called out at the beginning of the fight scene (see below), so he can play bongo accompaniment.

Some of the rest of the "Beach Party crowd" in this movie includes musicians Roger Christian and Gary Usher, as well as, in alphabetical order, Duane Ament, Pam Colbert, Mickey Dora, John Fain, Ed Garner, Ashlyn Martin, Laura and Luree Nicholson (yes, the daughters of AIP co-producer James H. Nicholson), Bobby Payne (who would go on to The Muppet Movie, as Robert Payne), Lorie Summers, and Delores Wells.    My personal favorite is Mike Nader, not so much for this movie as his later appearances, especially in Beach Blanket Bingo.  Here he's the tall, thin brunet in a gray sweater in the first Big Daddy's scene.  Brunette yoga girl Sharon Garrett would be a go-go girl in Speedway.

William Asher would go on to direct the rest of the basic series of five.  (I'll discuss the matter of what counts and doesn't, as we go along.)  This first entry not only builds on what the Gidget movies brought to the table, but introduces what would soon be its own traditions, including the big silly fight at the end (this time with a seemingly endless supply of cream pies).  Later entries would get more sci-fi/fantasy, while this one has a moment or two of surprising early '60s realism.  (What kind of cigarette are Frankie and his besties Ken and Deadhead passing back and forth?)  I didn't like the sort of rape joke-- Dee Dee is calling for help from Von Zipper, so Rhonda says, "It's just Dee Dee and that man"-- but otherwise the movie is pretty inoffensive.

"As for their sex life...."  Nonexistent?  Limited to horizontal necking?  We'll never know for sure.