Meatballs Part II

Meatballs Part II
July 27, 1984
TriStar Pictures
Comedy, Sci-Fi
VHS
C-

What can I say?  I saw this on an early date with my then-new-boyfriend-and-future-ex-husband.  We were 16 and 17 and we knew the movie was crap, but the alien plotline was sort of funny.  (There's also a Belmont Steaks pun that I got this time.)  This is only vaguely a sequel to the Bill Murray movie of five years earlier, although it is about two rival camps and their leaders: Richard Mulligan as Coach Giddy of Camp Sasquatch, and the aptly named Hamilton Camp, who has probably his biggest role in my movies, as Col. Bat Jack Hershey of Camp Patton.  The movie is only very marginally recommended if a) you want a better sense of what Wet Hot American Summer (2001) would go on to parody (the song played over both opening and closing credits manages to cram in every "summer" cliche it can), and/or b) you want to see the random cast.

Nine years and a Hello, Larry after Escape to Witch Mountain, 19-year-old Kim Richards does what she can with the role of virginal Cheryl, who has a Little Darlings lite plot of having to see a "pinky" by the end of the summer.  Rising slightly above the material are 36-year-old John Larroquette, right before he became a star on Night Court, and 31-year-old Paul Reubens, a year before Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (which I've seen but don't own), playing respectively a very stereotypical homosexual and a geek like you've never quite seen before.

This movie is sort of a reunion for Scavenger Hunters Mulligan and David Hollander, who was 14 at this point but lumped in with 12-year-old Jason Hervey and 10-year-old Scott Nemes, later of The Wonder Years and It's Garry Shandling's Show respectively.

Archie Hahn plays both horny counselor Jamie and the voice of Meathead the Alien.  Felix Silla (best known as Cousin Itt, but also appearing in Pufnstuf among other things) is the one in the alien costume.  Vic Dunlop tries to convince us he's a French chef; he was Ralph in Lunch Wagon.  Donald Gibb, who plays Mad Dog, would be Wolfman in Transylvania 6-5000.  Thirty-one-year-old Elayne Boosler, who's thanked in the credits, definitely does not look old enough to be playing the mother of a teenager, but she does have some almost-funny lines.

The Friday the 13th reference made by the Jive-Talking Black Girl Tula Washington (played by an actress who has absolutely no other credits) is an in-joke, as co-writers Martin Kitrosser and Carol Watson also did a couple movies in that series.

Don't let the poster fool you.

Roadie

Roadie
June 13, 1980
United Artists
Comedy, Romance, Musical
VHS
C-

The general idea for this movie isn't bad: Meat Loaf (as Travis W. Redfish) has inherited his father Art Carney's mechanical aptitude (the Redfish house is full of all kinds of gizmos, like a moving phone booth) and thus becomes, despite his reluctance, the greatest roadie in the world.  Unfortunately, the movie is too meandering and there's a very annoying leading lady, Kaki Hunter as Lola Bouillabase.  Also, the various musicians aren't given much to do other than show up, although Deborah Harry has a moment when she's eating with Mr. Loaf that shows what the movie would've been like if she'd been the love interest.  (She'd have a more interesting role in Hairspray, much later in the decade.)  Another performer who makes a slight impression is Soul Train's Don Cornelius, as concert-promoter Mohammed Johnson, who late in the movie decides to try to become the first black President.  It's a throw-away line, without follow-up, like much of the movie, except for Lola's tedious plans to lose her virginity to a seemingly indifferent Alice Cooper.  The only musicians who redeem themselves are Cheap Trick, twice singing the song with the Redfish motto, "Everything Works If You Let It."

Alice Cooper's wife Sheryl appears as herself, and she was in Sgt. Pepper as a dancer.  Hank Williams, Jr. also appeared in that movie.  Lenore Woodward would play a little old lady again, in Hamburger-- The Motion Picture.  Richard Portnow, who's First New York Wino, would be Sy in Radio Days.  This time Hamilton Camp plays Grady.

Rabbit Test

Rabbit Test
April 9, 1978
Laugh or Die Productions [These are the choices?]
Comedy, Romance
VHS
C+

Like Sextette, this shows how tacky the late '70s could get, but it's less enjoyably bad.  It does admittedly have more of a plot, the complications (medical and otherwise) faced by the world's first pregnant man, played by a young Billy Crystal, around the time he was making TV history as a gay main character on Soap.  The movie has a very slight resemblance to Miracle of Morgan's Creek, in that the unwed pregnancy shocks the whole world, but the reaction is more mixed here.  Also, like Trudy K., Crystal's Lionel Carpenter gives birth on Christmas, but it's a lot more blasphemous here, since the baby is possibly a Saviour.  (A deep-voiced star says, "Oh my God, it's a girl!!")  But then the whole movie is tasteless in just about every way imaginable, while Morgan's knew how to be suggestive without being PG-raunchy.

Then again, Joan Rivers (writer/director/over-actress in the role of a nurse) is no Preston Sturges.  If you're going to have a joke where an African waitress in rabbit ears and a swimsuit says, "I'm your jungle bunny," you've got to make it so outrageously funny that the viewer can't help but laugh, even if it's guiltily.  It's the same with jokes about (to take a few examples among many) incest, abortion, and urine.

Oddly enough, while there's none of the good-natured sweetness of Sextette (which loved even those it mocked), there is somehow a not bad romance here, between Crystal and his Russian Gypsy girlfriend, played by Joan Prather, who would find more success as Janet on Eight Is Enough.  And Doris Roberts, in the Doris Roberts Role of Crystal's mother (cf. Angie, Everybody Loves Raymond), is much better than her material.

There are two genuinely funny things in the movie: Richard Deacon's very phony toupee and a routine about a commemorative stamp.  Likely if you dare to watch this movie, it's going to have to be for the cast. Seemingly, nearly every actor and actress from the '70s you've heard of (or haven't) was in this flick, from a young Michael Keaton to Valerie Curtin and Suzanne Zenor from the first Three's Company pilot.  Rivers's Hollywood Squares colleagues (or at least game-show stalwarts) include George Gobel (as the President of the US), Fannie Flagg (as the First Lady), Peter Marshall (as himself), Jimmie "J. J." Walker (as an African ventriloquist), and Mr. Center Square himself, Paul Lynde, as the doctor whose rabbit dies.  Alice Ghostley is Lynde's nurse.  Billy Barty is Walker's black-face dummy.

This time Charlotte Rae plays Cousin Claire.  Roddy McDowall has a dual role, as the Gypsy grandmother and as Dr. D & C Fishbine.  (Hardy har har!)  Imogene Coca and/or Norman Fell plays his child.  (It's hard to tell in this movie.)  Hamilton Camp is some relation.

Ben Frommer, who's Mr. Sanchez, was "Man" in Plan Nine from Outer Space.  (Luckily, this isn't the extent of his resume.)  Intern William Callaway was a party guest in Annie Hall.  The role of the Japanese doctor was one of a handful that Rollin Moriyama would have in my late '70s movies.

Hospital visitor Tommy Madden would be One-Eyed Midget in The Muppet Movie.  May Boss, "Frail Old Lady," would be Adele Miller in Americathon.  (She was far from frail in real life and in fact was a stuntwoman, even up to 2003.)  Adam Anderson, the "Sobbing Sailor," would be a pilot in The Nude Bomb.  Rod Haase, who's the surfer on the bus, would be Wally in The Gong Show Movie.  Rosey Grier, who's the taxi driver, would be himself in The Gong SM.  Raymond O'Keefe, Bronco here, would be a man at the hospital in Nine to Five.  Shelley Morrison, who plays Mrs. Borzoni, would be Rosa the Maid in Troop Beverly Hills.

The Perils of Pauline

The Perils of Pauline
August 2, 1967
Universal
Comedy
VHS
C

A modern (but not mod) take on the 1914 serial, this starts out somewhat authentic to that earlier time, in terms of cars and clothes, but then seven years pass and suddenly we're in the world of the Peace Corps, the Berlin Wall, cosmonauts, and cryogenics.  We're not meant to take any of this seriously, so the ethnic/national stereotypes are less offensive than they could be, but mostly the movie is too bland to generate any strong emotion.

If you're going to watch this movie, it'll probably be for the cast.  No, not "Dodge Rebellion Girl" Pamela Austin as Pauline, or 33-year-old Pat Boone trying to be convincing as ages 13 to 25.  I mean the supporting cast, none of whom give stellar performances, but it's just interesting to see them show up.  Edward Everett Horton, 81 and passing as 99 1/2, plays the 2nd richest man in the world.  Bullwinkle fans will also be pleased at June Foray dubbing some of the kid voices, from Pauline as a baby to a spoiled Arab prince.  My favorite cameo was the one of William "Father Mulcahy" Christopher as a doctor, practically rolling his eyes at the corniness.  The most embarrassing appearances are possibly those of Billy Barty, as the king of the "white pygmies," and Terry-Thomas, as a "great white hunter" who falls for Pauline.  On the other hand, it's not like other roles of theirs have had much more dignity.

Keith Taylor, who was Plympton in Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number!, is Henry here.  James Milhollin, who plays Everett's male secretary Stafford, was a hotel manager in The Cool Ones.  Vito Scotti (instantly recognizable to Gilligan's Island viewers) is the "way-out" Italian director Frandisi and would be a cook in How Sweet It Is!  Angelo Rossito, who has credits going back to the '20s (he was in Freaks), is Barty's assistant here and would be Seymour Spider and Clang on the TV show H.R. Pufnstuf, as well as the movie.  Bruce Rhodewalt, who plays Clarke, would be Wilbanks in The Barefoot Executive.  Hamilton Camp, aged up with gray hair from his 32 years, plays Boone's male secretary Thorpe, but he would have a very different role as Col. Hershey in Meatballs Part II.

Vic Mizzy did the title song that Boone sings repeatedly, but it has none of the wacky pizzazz of his usual work (on The Addams Family, Green Acres, and some other movies, including at least one coming up).