Transylvania 6-5000

Transylvania 6-5000
Nov. 8, 1985
New World
Comedy, Horror
DVD
C-

Rudy De Luca is the main party responsible for this near monstrosity.  It's one of his few directing credits (the infamous Pink Lady...And Jeff  TV variety show is another), but he also penned Caveman and Million Dollar Mystery.  (He also plays Lawrence Malbot, the Wolfman's father I think.)  So sometimes the dumb humor works, but mostly it doesn't.  The movie doesn't work as Horror either, or Horror-Comedy, particularly with most of the scenes set in daylight.  So why did I get it on DVD?  (With De Luca's commentary no less!)  Well, it was cheap and I had blocked out things like the jokes that are as unfunny the tenth time as they are the first.

Here's what you can do to amuse yourself if you do end up watching this movie:

1. Count the performers who are over 6 feet tall:  Jeff Goldblum (6' 4 1/2"), Jeffrey Jones (6' 4 1/2"), Ed Begley, Jr. (6' 4"), Donald Gibb (6' 4", the Wolfman here and Mad Dog in Meatballs Part II), Michael Richards (6' 3"), Joseph Bologna (6' 1"), and Geena Davis (6').
2. Ogle Goldblum and/or Davis, both of whom show off their chests.  (They met on the set, so something good came out of this.)
3. Savor the irony of Norman Fell's (not over 6') celebration of "crap."
4. Enjoy every single rendition of the title song, from the rockin' version over the opening credits to the castle phone's ring tone to the folk tune towards the end to the closing not-exactly-Glenn-Miller big band take.
5. Wonder if Carol Kane (5' 2") is more embarrassed by her role as half of a hunchback couple with John Byner, or by her briefer role in the bigger bomb Ishtar.

Rabbit Test

Rabbit Test
April 9, 1978
Laugh or Die Productions [These are the choices?]
Comedy, Romance
VHS
C+

Like Sextette, this shows how tacky the late '70s could get, but it's less enjoyably bad.  It does admittedly have more of a plot, the complications (medical and otherwise) faced by the world's first pregnant man, played by a young Billy Crystal, around the time he was making TV history as a gay main character on Soap.  The movie has a very slight resemblance to Miracle of Morgan's Creek, in that the unwed pregnancy shocks the whole world, but the reaction is more mixed here.  Also, like Trudy K., Crystal's Lionel Carpenter gives birth on Christmas, but it's a lot more blasphemous here, since the baby is possibly a Saviour.  (A deep-voiced star says, "Oh my God, it's a girl!!")  But then the whole movie is tasteless in just about every way imaginable, while Morgan's knew how to be suggestive without being PG-raunchy.

Then again, Joan Rivers (writer/director/over-actress in the role of a nurse) is no Preston Sturges.  If you're going to have a joke where an African waitress in rabbit ears and a swimsuit says, "I'm your jungle bunny," you've got to make it so outrageously funny that the viewer can't help but laugh, even if it's guiltily.  It's the same with jokes about (to take a few examples among many) incest, abortion, and urine.

Oddly enough, while there's none of the good-natured sweetness of Sextette (which loved even those it mocked), there is somehow a not bad romance here, between Crystal and his Russian Gypsy girlfriend, played by Joan Prather, who would find more success as Janet on Eight Is Enough.  And Doris Roberts, in the Doris Roberts Role of Crystal's mother (cf. Angie, Everybody Loves Raymond), is much better than her material.

There are two genuinely funny things in the movie: Richard Deacon's very phony toupee and a routine about a commemorative stamp.  Likely if you dare to watch this movie, it's going to have to be for the cast. Seemingly, nearly every actor and actress from the '70s you've heard of (or haven't) was in this flick, from a young Michael Keaton to Valerie Curtin and Suzanne Zenor from the first Three's Company pilot.  Rivers's Hollywood Squares colleagues (or at least game-show stalwarts) include George Gobel (as the President of the US), Fannie Flagg (as the First Lady), Peter Marshall (as himself), Jimmie "J. J." Walker (as an African ventriloquist), and Mr. Center Square himself, Paul Lynde, as the doctor whose rabbit dies.  Alice Ghostley is Lynde's nurse.  Billy Barty is Walker's black-face dummy.

This time Charlotte Rae plays Cousin Claire.  Roddy McDowall has a dual role, as the Gypsy grandmother and as Dr. D & C Fishbine.  (Hardy har har!)  Imogene Coca and/or Norman Fell plays his child.  (It's hard to tell in this movie.)  Hamilton Camp is some relation.

Ben Frommer, who's Mr. Sanchez, was "Man" in Plan Nine from Outer Space.  (Luckily, this isn't the extent of his resume.)  Intern William Callaway was a party guest in Annie Hall.  The role of the Japanese doctor was one of a handful that Rollin Moriyama would have in my late '70s movies.

Hospital visitor Tommy Madden would be One-Eyed Midget in The Muppet Movie.  May Boss, "Frail Old Lady," would be Adele Miller in Americathon.  (She was far from frail in real life and in fact was a stuntwoman, even up to 2003.)  Adam Anderson, the "Sobbing Sailor," would be a pilot in The Nude Bomb.  Rod Haase, who's the surfer on the bus, would be Wally in The Gong Show Movie.  Rosey Grier, who's the taxi driver, would be himself in The Gong SM.  Raymond O'Keefe, Bronco here, would be a man at the hospital in Nine to Five.  Shelley Morrison, who plays Mrs. Borzoni, would be Rosa the Maid in Troop Beverly Hills.

The Graduate

The Graduate
December 22, 1967
Embassy
Drama, Musical
DVD
B-

Thirty-six-year-old Anne Bancroft seduces 30-year-old Dustin Hoffman, who then pursues 27-year-old Katharine Ross in this generation-gap comedy that's actually a drama.  Confused?  I think this movie has confused a lot of people over the decades.  Is Hoffman's character Benjamin a hero or an antihero?  Neither?  Is he a stalker, and if so, why is Elaine encouraging him somewhat?  Is Mrs. Robinson sexy or deranged, or both?  Neither?

Watching it this time-- and I did buy the DVD specifically for this project, although I had it on VHS-- I was most struck by how joyless the three main characters are.  The only moments of delight are when Benjamin "carries Elaine off" from her wedding, and when Benjamin is amused by the details of Elaine's out-of-wedlock conception in a Ford.  (Honestly, they couldn't come up with a funnier car?)  Is the message that upper-class suburbia is unsatisfying?  If so, why are Ben's parents and most of the other characters generally content?

I review the 1963 book here:  http://rereadingeverybookiown.blogspot.com/2012/07/graduate.html.  I just want to add a few things.  One, I do consider the movie superior, although not great.  (I'd probably give it a B if not for the last half hour, when everyone goes off the rails.)  We do see more of the emotions of the characters, including Mr. Robinson's.  The soundtrack isn't as good as I remembered, mostly due to the songs being repeated too often, although they're integrated well, especially the way the beats and scatting of "Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson" are used for humor when Ben tries to find the church and his car runs out of gas.

Aside from its relatively explicit sexual themes for its time, and the way it shows alienated youth, I think the film is most remarkable for its cast.  Even if you're bored (which I don't think you will be), you can at least have fun spotting familiar faces.  Buck Henry cowrote the script and has a nice little cameo as the desk clerk in what's probably the funniest sequence, showing Ben's nervousness about checking into the hotel.  Later, that's director Mike Nichols's comedy partner Elaine May as the girl bringing Elaine's note to Benjamin.  Mike Farrell plays one bellhop, while little person Buddy Douglas plays another.  (Douglas would go on to Pufnstuf, the show and movie.)  Two Bewitched ladies appear in a reception line, Alice Ghostley (Esmeralda) and Marion Lorne (Aunt Clara).

Arthur Tovey was an onlooker at the soap factory in Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number, is a hotel guest here, and would be a club patron in The Love God?  Another hotel guest, Frank Baker, was Bearded Gentleman in Bank in Mary Poppins.  Walter Brooke, who plugs plastics as Mr. McGuire, would be Haskell Wax in How Sweet It Is!  Brian Avery, who plays Elaine's WASPy groom Carl Smith, would be a more ethnic Herald Cohen in Sleeper.  Elizabeth Fraser, who plays Second Lady, would do 9 to 5.  Elizabeth Wilson, who plays Ben's mother, would still look young enough (at almost 60) to play Roz in that movie.  William Daniels, most famous for St. Elsewhere, I think doesn't show up in any of my other movies until The Blue Lagoon.  As Norman Fell would point out on It's Garry Shandling's Show a couple decades later, Fell was not only Jack & Janet's landlord but Dustin Hoffman's.  One of his other tenants, the one who suggests calling the cops, is 20-year-old Richard Dreyfuss, who would have a much larger and sillier role in Hello Down There.

Hoffman, Dreyfuss, Fell