Hollywood Uncensored

Hollywood Uncensored
1987 [exact release date unknown]
Caidin Film
Documentary
VHS
B-

No pun intended, but this documentary on Hollywood censorship is unfocused.  However, the clips and the interviews are interesting.  I think with tighter editing and writing, as well as sticking with one "host" throughout (rather than Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. and then Peter Fonda), this could've been more on a level with Celluloid Closet.  I would  still recommend it for not only its '80s perspective (Silent Night, Deadly Night is the most recent movie discussed), but also for interviews with celebrities who are no longer with us, including Jane Russell (who's quite funny as she discusses the bra she was supposed to wear for the Outlaw), as well as Hal Roach, then 95.  (He died five years later.)  I just wish that the questions had been better, but (except in the case of Baby Doll), no one seems to have wanted to dig deeper.  Fairbanks might be expected to talk about his father's films a little, but he doesn't even seem to remember much about his own 1930 sex drama we see a clip from.  HU is not a bad introduction to the Hays code and all, but I would definitely recommend watching more documentaries, and reading some books on the topic.  (This book, for instance, gives a much better sense of context:  http://rereadingeverybookiown.blogspot.com/2012/08/see-no-evil-life-inside-hollywood-censor.html)

Who's That Girl

Who's That Girl
August 7, 1987
Warner Bros.
Comedy, Romance, Action
VHS
B-

Released the same day as Back to the Beach, this was not and still is not anywhere near as well liked by the critics and public.  (Interestingly, feminist Kathi Maio gave it a mostly favorable review.)  As someone who has no strong feelings for or against Madonna (and an affection for Frankie & Annette that made me go see BttB at the time), it may seem odd that I'm giving this movie the same rating.  I wouldn't say that it's aged well-- it's even more '80s and it's chockful of stereotypes-- but there's something oddly appealing about it.

It's a screwball comedy that rips off Bringing Up Baby, which I never cared for, by the way.  (I'm in the minority in thinking that Sylvia Scarlett is the best Grant-Hepburn movie.)  WTG is also an action comedy.  And a manic-pixie-dreamgirl nightmare.  Griffin Dunne, as Louden Trott, a role not entirely dissimilar to his straight-arrow lawyer character in Johnny Dangerously, manages to be both the Goldblumian in-story commentator on the craziness around him and the won-over-in-less-than-24-hours victim/love interest for Madonna.  Who looks like Betty Boop, especially in the animated opening credit sequence that sets up the back-story.  (You know, while people are finding their seats.)

The title by the way has no question mark, so I guess it's a statement.  Madonna is who is that girl.  (Sorry, Marlo Thomas.)  But Nikki Finn isn't much like Madonna, except in creating controversy and being on the cutting edge of fashion.  You may not like Madonna or Nikki, but there's so much else going on here, weird little touches like the way the on-the-spot reporter interviews the kidnapped bridesmaids, and the Don'ts pictures for Louden's wedding night, that it won't really matter.  And I can't think of any other movie, in the '80s or beyond, that would resolve the bickering-cops subplot the way this one does.  Perhaps the fact that the script was co-written by Ken Finkleman and Andrew Smith, of respectively Grease 2 and the 1979 TV-movie Playboy's Roller Disco & Pajama Party, explains the way cliches are almost subverted, but I doubt it.

Arthur Tovey, who has an uncredited role as the butler, was then 82 and had credits dating back decades, including as Military Man in Restaurant in A Night in Casablanca.  Shari Summers was Edith Phern in Harold and Maude and plays Nurse #2 here.

Carmen Filpi, Street Bum #1 here, would have a brief but memorable role as Old Man Withers in Wayne's World, while Sean Sullivan, who's the Gun Dealer here, would be Phil there.  Co-op member Robert Weil would be Mail Room Boss in The Hudsucker Proxy.  John McMartin, who plays Simon Worthington, would be Huntingdon Hartford in Kinsey.

A 26-year-old Stanley Tucci plays the 2nd Dock Worker.

Unfairly trashed by the critics.

Back to the Beach

Back to the Beach
August 7, 1987
Paramount
Comedy, Musical
VHS
B-

I have a soft spot for this then-modern-day follow-up to the Beach Party series but I will admit that it can't sustain the wonderful pre-title sequence.  It's never boring, but some of the jokes are a bit clunky and the energy feels off much of the time.  It's certainly one of the most amiable B-s I own and I would recommend it, but let me talk about some of the issues I have with it.

Number one is that at this point, more years have passed since BttB was released than there had been in the gap between this and How to Stuff a Wild Bikini, and the '80sness has definitely not aged well.  You wouldn't think buxom young blondes could look bad, but see a number of them in the most horrendous of late '80s neon/fluorescent colors and you'll be wishing that Annette's fondness for polka dots had become a trend.  The modern and modernized-'60s music generally does not work, although Annette's revamped "Jamaican Ska" understandably enchants the entire beach.

Number two is the misguided nostalgia.  Now, I know you're saying, Wait, this is a movie starring Frankie and Annette as Frankie and Annette.  But that's kind of the problem.  Frankie was "Frankie" but he was never "The Big Kahuna."  And Annette, as any real Beach Party fan knows, was "Dee Dee" (short for "Dolores").  As welcome as Connie Stevens is (like F & A she looks great in this), she was never part of the series, so setting her up as both Annette's rival and future in-law seems wrong.  I realize this movie was marketed at the mainstream (and did quite well commercially and critically as I recall), but it would've been nice to bring in Deborah Walley, John Ashley, and some more of the gang (Mike Nader! Donna Loren!), rather than make us grateful for "Dick Dale and at least two of the Del-Tones."  (Two of Frankie's real-life sons are part of the band, a nice touch.)

Expanding on point number two, the movie has an odd assortment of mostly television cameos, and not ones from The Mickey Mouse Club.  June, Wally, and Beaver Cleaver show up (with a little Siskel & Ebert parody that I presume Gene & Roger liked, since they gave two thumbs up), and I'll admit it's good to see Gilligan and the Skipper (Bob Denver has some of the best lines in the film), and Don Adams is kinda sorta Maxwell-Smart, but what does this have to do with the original low-budget movie series?  O.J. Simpson (in a gag that probably no one under thirty will get now without Googling) and Peewee Herman have even more random cameos.

There are a whole bunch of characters who aren't given much to do (including F & A's daughter), yet we're supposed to care when some girl (I think her name was Robin) who can't swim might have to face the leader of the rival surfer gang.  It's like a lot got lost in the editing, or among the drafts of the no less than six writers.  (Does this, dare I say it, need a director's cut?)

But Frankie & Annette are themselves as delightful as ever, good-naturedly parodying themselves and having fun with the usually deliberately hokey script.  Demian Slade as their 12-year-old son has most of the great lines that Bob Denver doesn't have.  I think they should've had him continue to narrate throughout the film, because, unlike Woody Allen in Radio Days, he adds a whole other great layer to the proceedings.  Overall, I'd put this on a level with the average Beach Party movie, which is impressive considering how different it is and how much time had passed.  I wish it was more than it is, but what it is is good summer fun, even in the winter.

Note, Connie's beach date, Scott L. Treger, was a basketball player in Soul Man.

Love at Stake

Love at Stake
August 1, 1987
Hemdale Film
Comedy, Historical, Fantasy, Romance
VHS
C+

This comedy about the Puritans is indeed sometimes funny, but unfortunately many of the jokes are repeated and thus lose their efficacy.  Also, too much of the humor is sexual or otherwise crude, when there's more potential for political and other satire.  (And making fun of Nixon is doubly anachronistic, for 1692 and 1987.)  Yes, some of the R-rated jokes are funny, too, but when Dr. Joyce Brothers (yes, you read that right) analyzes the Puritans as being sexually repressed, it would have more sting if we didn't see most of them (even the parson's bitchy old mother) as lecherous at some point.  Even the parson (played by a by-then middle-aged Bud Cort) is having an affair.  And Barbara Carrera, as the scene-stealing actual witch in the midst of the falsely accused, is incredibly sensuous.  The other two notable cast members are Stuart Pankin and SCTV's Dave Thomas as the judge and mayor who are out to profit from the burnings.  (The "romance" tag is for the bland main couple who are victims of the machinations.)  The film is notable for using a "fire" song that Nice Girls Don't Explode missed: "A Hunk a Hunk of Burning Love."  I almost went with a B-, but I will admit that the marshmallow-roasting at the witch-burnings (which aren't in any case historically accurate for the Salem witch trials, where I believe hanging was the preferred execution) took the tasteless humor too far.

Stanley Coles had been part of "Young Lonely Hearts Club Band" in Sgt. Pepper and he's a guard here.

Roxanne

Roxanne
June 19, 1987
Columbia
Comedy, Romance
VHS
B-

As with All of Me (1984), I enjoyed this Steve Martin movie more at the time, although it's still a pretty good movie.  The setting (Nelson, BC passing as Nelson, WA) is lovely, a little mountain town with Victorian houses.  The romantic triangle (based on the play of course) generally works, even if there are times it's a bit implausible that someone as bright as the title character is supposed to be (played by Daryl Hannah) doesn't figure out the deception sooner.  Shelley Duvall, as Martin's "godsister" Dixie (I guess her mom was his godmother, or a similar situation), gives a good supporting performance as friend to both CD and Roxanne, with a life of her own.  The third side of the triangle gets his own happy ending with a character who has been established early on.  I can't think of anything seriously wrong with the movie, other than that a lot of the firefighter slapstick doesn't hold up.  (There is one nice sight gag out a window.)  It's a pleasant enough movie but I think ultimately forgettable.

This time, Fred Willard plays Mayor Deebs, who of course (like all Willard characters) frequently puts his foot in his mouth and doesn't notice.  Matt Lattanzi, who plays Trent, was Brad (and thus a subject of a song) in Grease 2.  We get early and small but instantly recognizable appearances by two men who'd go on to comedy success, particularly on the little screen: then 33-year-old Kevin Nealon as a drunk and then 26-year-old Damon Wayans as a fireman.

"You don't have to wear that dress tonight."

Ishtar

Ishtar
May 15, 1987
Columbia
Comedy, Action
VHS
C-

This isn't as terrible as you've heard, but that's not saying much.  It starts out fine, with Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty as two talentless musicians who dream of the big time.  (Hoffman thinks they can surpass Simon & Garfunkel, a nice little sort of reference to Hoffman's break-through movie, directed by Elaine May's former comedy partner, Mike Nichols.)  The songs, mostly cowritten by Ms. May and Paul Williams, are so bad they're good.  But then writer-director May, in the form of the guys' agent, played by Jack Weston (27 years after Please Don't Eat the Daisies) sends them to the title country, on the border of Morocco.  And I lose almost all interest in the movie.

In a way, May was trying to make an '80s answer to the Road to movies, but she set this in sort of the real world.  (Hoffman thinks Kaddafy is another country.)  And there's none of the fourth-wall-breaking we got with Bob and Bing.  Also, their Dorothy Lamour is a left-wing revolutionary who flashes her breasts when she's pretending to be a boy.  May could've done some astute political satire (this was released in the midst of Iran-Contra after all), but what we get is no sharper, or funnier, than in Warren's sister's John Goldfarb.  Also, if I can't decide whether I wish there was more of Carol Kane or I'm grateful for her sake that her character breaks up with Hoffman's and disappears from the movie, that's not a good thing.  Even the whole reversed expectations of Beatty being a loser with women doesn't really have any kind of pay-off.

My advice: watch the first twenty minutes or so and then maybe the last three.  (If you need to see Isabelle Adjani's breasts, they're fairly early on.)

Fred Melamed had small roles in both Hannah and Her Sisters and Radio Days, and here he plays Caid of Assari.  Bill Moor plays U.S. Consul here and would be Duke Vermont in Tune in Tomorrow....

Nice Girls Don't Explode

SPOILERS!

Nice Girls Don't Explode
February 1987
New World
Comedy, Romance
VHS
C+

There are times that this feels like it might be a quirky half-forgotten '80s gem, like Something Special, but it never quite overcomes its basic premise (extremely overprotective mother tricks gullible daughter into thinking that the latter is a "fire girl" whose hormones are combustible), and there's one central scene that might be a parody of racist fears (Mom has two heavyset black men tie down the boyfriend and forcibly shave one of his legs) but is nonetheless racist.  The movie is often funny-- especially anything involving the cat (played by Orange Cat #5, with Eric the Cat providing stunts)-- and Barbara Harris, then 51, can sell even a role like this.  Wallace Shawn also, well, lights up the screen as a pyromaniac named Ellen.  Michelle Meyrink and William O'Leary make a cute couple, and I like the use of music (the theme that is Bradyically used for every mood, as well as "fire" songs like "Fever").  But I can only marginally recommend this.